My Idea for General Hospital: With a Grain of Marinara Sauce

Ok, so...I'm going to resign myself to the fact that Guza is going to be writing GH until it's off the air. I'm also going to assume we will NOT be getting anything BUT the mob at the front.  Ergo, with that in mind, I am going to just offer it up. Let's write GH Mobular in MY style. Just do it.  Bloodier, the better. Here's to the last year of GH. 

First of all, quit the stupid sheeze with the PCPD..just get Ronnie right on the Zaccarah payrol. He's just a dirty cop. He'll end up trying to kill Dante. Sonny comes in, and shoots him in the head, right in full HBO glory. They wrap them in a plastic  bag and store him in Kelly's freezer, which all along has been the "secret hub" for mob activity. 

Next to be killed, Mac. Mac is actually the Aussie connection for Sonny's operation and has been smuggling guns for years. (this harkens back to his history on the show). He wakes up with a dead hooker (Abby)  and commits suicide because of the implications. 
Robin finds out about him and devistated, and she and Patrick move to Buffalo to work at The Children's Hospital. Lisa gets run over by their bus as she tries to stop it as it leaves.  We see her body dragged all the way down the Main Street of PC. 


Jax gets really pissed at Sonny, enough to blow up his house with Max,  Diane  and Milo in it. This enrages Sonny who has Jason Shoot down Jax's helicopter, which crashes right into the Hospital. Monica's killed because it happened, ironically on her one day at the set. The hospital burns to the ground. We get a nice back shot of Bobbie and Audrey hugging in the ruins. 

Siobhan is really working for some fringe IRA group, straps on a bomb and blows herself, Liz, Lucky and all the kids up. I think I'll have it happen on the docks, sick of that set anyway. Oh, and while we are at it, Nik is coming over on the ferry and tries in vain to save his brother. He decides to drown himself in the harbor.

Edward Q has a heart attack and dies,  Tracy sells the Q mansion because Monica left it to her and leaves town. Maya's in the closet but no one notices.  Ethan wanders around and then is finally cast in Dillon Q's new Pirate movie. He moves to Hollywood.

Because nothing can happen to Sonny or Jason or Luke, the three of them move in together and start a more concentrated "import/export" business with Castro, newly stepped down from  Cuba. I'm sure he'd love to guest on the soap.  The show can revolve around these 4 characters while they endlessly fight Anthony Z and Johnny for "turf"..Dante joins his father and grandfather. He is initiated by having to kill off Carly in a sword fight. Carly actually does well before dying, Dante's arm is cut off in the battle. He gets a robot one like Luke Skywalker. Michael accepts the fact his mother had to die for the 'cause'.  


The Davis girls get their own reality show on VH1 and we don't see them unless they are on to hawk a product like, SlimQuick or Gator Aid.

Oh, and who's the Commodore? That's Mike...he's been running it all  out of Kelly's all these years and isn't in "rehab"--he's giving arms to Libyan rebels. 
Sam and Brenda continue to be the Mobular Wives, but are only shown when they are barefoot and tending children out in the woods hide out. Or the island, whichever season it is.


There, enough for ya? Enough for Guza?? I'd throw in some woman-beatings but you know they'll  come in time. 


Fade to Black: Journey plays.