THE SUN: New Year Headlines

RUBBER FACE REMAINS AT LARGE! 

Last Seen at the corner of Swiss Lane and Fondue St.

ANNA AND DUKE MISSING!! 
Robert and McBain followed; also MIA 
Last seen around early December...PCPD says it's on brink of collapse without Chief or Nostril Detective!
Haunted Starr cancels all events because of no bartender

STOLEN BOOK CREATES HAVOC!
Who took Molly's Maine book... and why?
"I worked really super hard on it teen says "and like, I don't know what to do" Mother promises lawsuit
in related news:
CONNIE FALCOONIERI PUBLISHES SEX SHOCKER!
"Masochism in Maine" hits bookshelves in March 2013
"Won't be as good as mine" says Diane Miller, publisher of local Spinelli best-seller.

LOCAL COUPLE BUY A CLUE: "It's really expensive" says Michael Corinthos. "I have no idea where to put it" says girlfriend Starr.

UNCLE MAC invents NEW COCKTAIL at Floating Rib!!
"I call it the Thin Blue Line"  says the ex-cop...is grateful to  have job

HALLUCINATIONS RUN RAMPANT AT GH!!
LSD Tie in Leaves Olivia Terrified!!
"I'm going to the dogs" she decries...

SUPER-NOSE SNIFFS OUT LOCAL SEWER  LEAK
Swears it comes from local coffee warehouse. Owner says "bullcrap"!

STEVEN LARS FINDS CURE FOR HANG NAILS!
"Someone had to do it"...
Mother is "Proud" he says; wants to patent nail clippers. 

MOBSTER FOUND WITH DUCT TAPE RESIDUE! 
"I have no idea how I got tied up and thrown into that dumpster" says Mob Boss Zacchara "But I'm certain it doesn't have anything to do with no blonde"!!

CARLY JACKS LOSES VOICE!!
"Town rejoices with three day party"!!

MOPING LEADS TO SERIOUS FROWN LINES says Prominent GH Doc.

UGLY DUCKLING TURNS SWAN WITH COE-COE COSMETICS!

"My biggest project yet" says Lucy Coe, founder or Coe-Coe... "Although getting rid of her giant glasses did help", she admits. 

NEW YEAR PROMISES PROSPERITY FOR PORT CHARLES!
Out with the new and in with the old, promises producer; look for Nurses' Ball, references to history and ELQ reboot.  "50 years of Glory" says scribe. We can't wait.