Sunday Surgery: Last Rites

Have you heard the one about the Priest, the spy and the mobster that walk into a bar?

That's how GH feels to me now. A little jokey--a lot sad and frustrating.  I'm seriously having a fight of viewership at this point. Watching Julian repeatedly stab Carlos was so gratuitous it was astonishing. To think this whole thing is happening NOT under Bob Guza is just unbelievable. 

Get ready for some major crabby analysis of the show. Maybe we all should have crab cakes together. 





Let's start with the "Great Escape".  The escape served two purposes: St. Jaysus to get his memories back and for Carlos to eventually get what was 'coming to him". 



Only guess what? Even with Carlos dead, we are back to square one. Why? Did it really solve anything? Anna's still out to get Julian. Sonny's out to get Pen-Giving Paul and Julian. Julian went from getting out of the mob (for the 3rd time) to gutting Carlos at the pier. 
Alllll Righty then!! Thanks for that! Thanks for the forward movement of the story. Seems to me you brought back a popular character only to have him die AGAIN with no real reason. Wouldn't it have been better to leave him on the run? Why did he have to die? To have a drama stabby-scene? We've seen about 700 killings on GH so... whatever. 



Jason's "memories" didn't actually appear on camera. We had voices and people important to him show up. Helena tried to block her soldier boy but he got that pole up and under the van to free Dante. (I guess a metaphor for him breaking that spell?).  He got a little bonding time with Dante as well. All in all, huge let down for me. It was just very strangely done and not that entertaining. 



Another little tidbit. Why wasn't the follow up to Jason's memory explored later in the week? According to sudsters, the episode was 'shown out of order".  Yes, you read that right. Ergo, it felt like the insertion it was. Now it will feel like the jerk-back on Monday. Why would you put things out of order? Because you wanted Kim there to play Robin? Why not film it and put it IN order? This is all interesting for people that read soap sites and twitter but what about everyone at home who just watch the show? I'm sure they so appreciate the "out of order" memo that was apparently sent out. :eyeroll: 



Oh, yeah, Carlos death also served another purpose. Outing Griffin as a priest. Or former priest. Which we all guessed. He's obviously guilt ridden over his affair with Claudette and getting shot by Nathan. 




And isn't it funny about this whole religion thing inserted into the mob story? LOL "Give him his last rites".  We are happy he's dying but, compassion you know. Anna's face was priceless. I'm so glad she was there as the skeptic and seeing how hypocritical that whole thing was.  Of course, Pope Sonny stood there like he's the BESTEST Catholic on EARTH. I expected him to get his Scapula out and start spraying Holy Water on himself.
The hell? Ok... let's hope Griffin doesn't go door to door to give out pamphlets on forgiveness next. 



After an epic fight with Carlos, Anna ended up in an ice-cooler with Duke. Will Ian Buchanan be back on a more regular basis? Maybe this was a test of the ratings? Who knows. Of course the scenes were well acted. Anna tells Duke about his son. But other than that?  Didn't really do much for the story. Oh, by the way, Dr. Maddox? What is he like Scooby Do? He knows where Anna is? He's been in town a hot damn minute. Very weird. Jordan should have found her. But you know, PCPD has to be written as morons so...
And does GH take place in the '90s? No GPS tracking, and no security cams in the most dangerous place in Port Charles. 



Heather. Well, see...Franco needed advice about his LOVE LIFE from his mother who kidnapped his former love Carly. Anyone think she was going to say: "Just tie her up and make her love you"?? The great thing that came out of that whole mess was Franco's painting of his Mama. Nice work. 
PS. No mention of the BLTs she loves. Which is a signal that TPTB were tired of that joke. I however, still pretended that Franco brought her one. 



Franco's "grand gesture" of appearing nude behind Nina's computer may have set my heart a twitter but alas, not her's.  Franco can continue his decent into pre-tumor hell and we get to watch. Yeah, us. Again with the backwards story. Reverting to the least common denominator is right up these head writer's alley. 



Alexis. Poor Alexis... loving a man that not only is in the mob, but someone that would use her own dagger to kill Carlos with. SMDH. Nancy acted the hell out of everything but I so wish I didn't have to watch it. I hate the whole storyline. Every bit of it. I still say Ava should have been the one to do all this. Get her brother out of trouble, take on Sonny and Paul--just be a kick ass moll. Naw, revert back to Julian being a complete idiot screw up. Who, by the way, when he first came to the show wasn't either of those. But I digress. We can now go back to the Art Gallery, Julian running whatever--or going to jail again, or being killed. Who knows? His character was just slaughtered this week. 



Dr Obrect. I'm mentioning her because this is a case in point of a character that really is dimensional and has evolved to a point that she's interesting rather than one-note.  I even liked it when she gave it to Franco. Franco who's lost everyone now--and will lose his sessions with Jake next week. Get ready to rumble with the Fronkey-Crazy. 



Hayden. Oh Hayden. It's apparent that the little chem RB and TC has is evaporating. Can't quite put my finger on it but she doesn't seem to enjoy any scenes with him anymore. (Hmmmm) So, we put her in a bar with Curtis. And then we put her in the gym with a shirtless Curtis. 
By the way, do you think Valerie is going by the way of Keisha? You know, storage closet? 
But I digress. Hayden. Hayden who's getting a mother soon. Hayden who's playing a cat and mouse game with Nikolas. (Liz' words not mine).  Hayden. Who's backstory is so dull it can't be saved no matter what you do at this point. Sorry. 



Liz was on, packing up.  She found a "cute little house". Bummer, I liked her at Wyndemere. I like the "Central-House" set up. 



NuDanny has aged a LOT.  LOL...the kid is even missing his front teeth. Meaning he's at least 6ish. I guess he's easier to deal with if he's older. He can live/stay at the Q's (even has his own bedroom!), dress himself and not need toys to keep him occupied. Welcome. 




SCENE OF THE WEEK: I would have picked Nico again, but I loved this. It was so heartfelt and KG and Kirsten gave it their all. Loved that Lesil let Maxie go in to see him first and then Franco found her. 



PROP OF THE WEEK: Hands DOWN it was Paul's Pen who stuck in Dante for the duration!! By the way,  if you are an Orphan Black watcher, you know where that pen should have gone. LOL Oh, and Sonny knew it was probably Paul's because it was 'expensive". Good Detective work there, Corinthos!! 




FACE OF THE WEEK: Oh, Carlos. Julian was being so nice to you about giving you money, letting you live your life and see your kid grow. He has a baby himself now after all and, well... NOPE. Julian is turning out to be just another mobular assphat. 




WARDROBE PROPS: Maxie wore her lipstick shirt for it seems weeks on end... but it's adorable so...


Genie's back next week with Kevin. That story is amazingly slow isn't it? People are telling me it's 'in her contract' to only work X amount. I swear I read she was moving back to LA. What ever the reason, having her start a story about a 'mysterious key' and then not doing it in any timely manner is maddening. I really don't give a crap about it anymore. Nothing. Lucy will probably be all jelly with Kevin and Laura now too. (Nurses Ball, so she shows up). yawn. 



You know I didn't like this week one bit. I didn't watch Thursday and Friday on purpose because I was getting so angry. I think of potential stories in my head that missed and just scream. I also think about the characters that have the same things happen over and over again--and are on the screen 90% of the time. When Sonny stopped by to give Alexis "Advice" about Julian I almost threw up. He's gotta be EVERYWHERE!!!!! I'm surprised he didn't find Anna, take Dante's pen out and box with Curtis at the gym. 




The acting however, was spectacular. Everyone was on point. The stories might drive me insane but I appreciate the work that goes in.  Really, I do. 

Oh, probably should have had nurse "Amy" on again this week. You know, to let us get used to her and to know a bit more. But...this is GH so. ?? 

RUMOR PATROL: Speaking of the Nurses' Ball...There is now a GIANT Rumor that someone dies. And it might be..LUCAS! "Bobbi makes a heartbreaking decision" and "Morgan finds a body" are just 2 of them. THEN Ryan Carnes tweeted "all things change" when a fan asked if his character was dying!! HELL NO!! NOPE if that happens after all this crap..I will revolt.
The hell? Can't we have a fun Nurses Ball without DEATH!!!? Not only that Julian inadvertently causes it. Great. 

 In reply to Jean Fryson

Ryan Carnes ‏@RyanCarnes1  2h2 hours ago

@ramonakz0220 some things change, that's all I can say...

I'm hoping the body is Aaron and Lucas is just hurt. That's what I'm hoping. Someone is going to have to hold me back if it's Lucas!! Why not let he and Brad get married and live happily. They are only on 2x every 4 months anyways!! 


It's back to being FREEZING here again. I don't think Sping is ever going to really get here. BOO.