Sunday Surgery: Naked Guns

This....is a Gun. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrun! 

Is that a gun? Really.. a GUN  Ok then

No! THIS is a GUN! GUN GUN GUN!!! 

I think that this may be either a very interesting blog--or a very very boring one. Depends on how you like the show. By the numbers, GH is doing really well. Really well. Ergo, I'm the odd man out in this. I'm seeing the show through different eyes than most people I guess. 
But, there it is. 

MY FACE of the WEEK?? Right here, that's me 

Grab some Irish Coffee and do a little jig... here we go! 


I'm a broken record. I realize that. I feel like I'm WATCHING a broken record.  Where to start. 

Time for a Tony "exit'!! Vacation!! It's spring in Amsterdam! So ..bye! Fluke runs off into the night after inexplicable "Nina-Franco" let's escape together montage. Like Franco would go off with Fluke. And Shadybrook is just a joke. They should have put Fluke in some max security place in Utah and just had him gone for awhile. I'm so not getting the whole "tazing Nina" thing. Gotta hand it to the writers though. They've spun this tale out in epic fashion and scope.  YES--I do want to see the whole Spencer Family history.  I just don't want it to be during 2016 Feb. sweeps. 

Spin Re-dux nine million and twelve.  At least he's involved in the Search for Pat... and not just pining after Maxie. Maxie has another hunky boyfriend. Spinelli is trying to get her. This time they have a kid together so it's a bit more dramatic. It's still Spinelli and Maxie and Maxie not being able to make up her mind.  Um. Okay then!

Well, I kinda found Pat Spencer...sort of
What do you mean sort of?
It's an old address.
Ok then. We'll start there.
Psssssssst. Geary is gone for a few months, make it last. 
Anything else? Something remotely interesting?
Nope. That's all I got. 

Insert fun scene. Which seemed rather--well, INSERTED. "The Georgie goes to GH" was also a bit strange. I get it was to show Nate that Spixie were a family united but it was still weird. Poor Kristina Wagner came in for an hours worth of work. (don't get me wrong, I loved seeing her).  

One of my bright spots was  of course,  the "Baby AJ" scene. BOOM. Loved it. I thought Michael was going to do the Quartermaine part but AJ? Inspired! Maybe people see Michael as a spoiled baby but I'm loving it. LOVE-ING-IT. Sonny's being pissed off is awesome. Morgan's ass-kissing as the "good son" more awesome. Let's play Monopoly! Order a Pizza! Geee, Whiz Dad, sorry Mikey is being so gash darn mean, but I'm here! 
Holes in the story? A MILLION.  The entire Sabrina as Nanny? Killin' me. (for so, so many reasons).  But it was one thing I did enjoy this week.

But I WANT A BABY--NOW!!!!!! 

Hey, I know!! Let's have the custody case run on forever. Let's get KIKI in there!! yeah..and Julian! 
But Wait...what about...Ava? Poor Cancer-stricken stuck in the 1 hospital room Ava? What about HER? Oh..I know! Silas can ALSO GET IN on the custody!!  :Side eye: Oh can't wait for more courtroom scenes! Bring it! (wish you could hear the sarcasm)
PS. Kiki thinking Sabrina can't take care of Avery because of what she did, yet she's bud-bud with Sonny? Um.. ugh

Yeah, you have cancer. 
What! WHAT? 
Yep. Cancer. Sorry.
You don't seem overly upset.
This IS my "you have cancer face" so...

Speaking of Ava..yes, Maura did a superb job on this. She was great.  Kudos and Bravo. 
As for Ava, no one matches her bone marrow. She won't let Silas even think about testing Avery because it may harm her.  I'm still wondering a few things. Ava was presumed dead but not dead. But she's dying. So in soap land that means one of 2 things: either Maura is leaving the show and Ava will "die" (well, you know) ..or she's going to be saved somehow.  Which brings me back to--why have her fake-die in the first place? Now she's in that room 24/7. :throwsuphands: Would have been better having her fight Sonny for custody (instead of the stupid Michael thing), finding out she's dying and the drama that entails of her finding a home for Avery.
But, that's just me. Remember Stepmom? 

Well, Here we are again.
Yep. Docks. Guns...spent shells.  
My elbow hurts. 
What should I do?
I'm not sure. . Order a pizza. 
And some Aspercreme. 

KILL ME NOW. Just ..do it. The mob shit is SO played out.  It's mind boggling. I was so upset under Guza with this. Same old same old with average (at best) writing. Welp. Here we are. Mob sides squaring off about TURF. Imports from "Canada".  GUNS. Shootings. No one getting actually killed even though they are RIGHT IN FRONT OF EACH OTHER. The cops in town trying to "shut it down". Undercover work ..FBI (Hannah and her Father? anyone?) PLEASE please PLEASE--- if you insist on writing this do it WELL. Please give us exciting, intricate stories that move at a decent pace. Don't dumb down the mob to the point that 10 year olds figure things out. I honestly thought this all might change with Sonny's jail time and Julian bonding.
Could I BE any more wrong? 
The fact that Anna didn't even arrest anyone after they had a major shoot out is just ugh. 
And, by the way THIS IS BORING. BORRRRRing. Notice that Sonny is in no way or no how shape or form OUT of the mob. In fact, they are conspiring to have Jordan kill Julian. Oh, and BTW,  Julian's camp is planning on killing Duke.
SERIOUSLY? :thud: 

DO my Eyes Deceive me??? Stone Cold? I know that butt anywhere! 

And..... this brings us to Jake.  Even though Spin 'recognized' him from behind, it still isn't ending.  Having a nuFace and the whole "nobody will know who this is" crap is crap. It worked when I was 14 but....now? They needed to recast and that's it. Jason could have still lost his memory. This journey is painful and dull.  Jake is surrounded by 3 women all flirty and intrigued by his man-lee-ness. No one knows why. Hmmmm, what could it be? Spinelli has a good idea. but NOPE. 

PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!!! 

Jake goes to live with Carly. She lets him live with her. AFTER THE FRANCO stuff? Really? And here's a guy that was damn mind-controlled by the Cassadines! Who's undercover with the mob. What could POSSIBLY HAPPEN? What? They'd better have Joss on soon or I'll hate the entire thing even more. Liz breaks it off with Ric to try with Jake. *sigh* Ric is going to get mad and if you haven't read the spoilers then you don't know where things are going. I'm telling you it's ridiculous and redundant. If you lived through the Connor/Nik/Mary story, well --it's coming again. 
The Monica thing is still bothering me to no end.  Couldn't they at LEAST have inserted her into this hospital scene? She's not home with Michael and Avery. Hell, have her do something! 

The monthly meeting of the TJ/Shawn/Jordan gang. Shawn is figuring out Jordan is working with the po-po. Took him long enough. Now there's going to be a test coming from ol' Duke. Put up or shut up. Kill Julian Jerome. May as well have Fluke come around and tell her to kill someone as well, cause you know how that works out. 

Then there's this. I saved it for last because it shall be my biggest bitch. NuSlone is awful. I'm saying it. I realize this actor was on other soaps, yada yada. Well, on GH? I don't know who's telling him to play it like this but it's painful. Sloane has NO charm, NO warmth...no flirty playfulness what so ever. He's like a robot or something! Look, I like evil guys. Smarmy guys can be fun too, if done right. This was just ..flat. Poor Finola. Wow. She of course, did her best. He said his lines with ZERO inflection. Even when he was THISCLOSE talking to her I felt nothing. This is supposed to be a Moonlighting banter type relationship but whoa. There IS no banter. So not doing it. Plus, I'm going to be mean here but the guy is ORANGE. Finola is British rose pale. Just.
NO. 

SCENE OF THE WEEK:  Ava has cancer. Maura West was perfection. 

Well, Liz is ONE woman we haven't shared, so there's that. 

MY FAVE SCENE OF THE WEEK:  Ric and Sonny. I have never seen those two like this and I liked it! Brothers--without agenda (that I know of). Give Sonny a real brother. Give Ric a friend. He's always been an outcast and this makes him so much more. 

FACE OF THE WEEK: When Spin realizes it's not Jason.  Sad. Sadder for me because this is ain't  gonna end soon. 

PROP OF THE WEEK: Sonny, Carly, Morgan and Kiki play Monopoly.  Mo NO po LY!

I'm finishing this epic rant  with a tiny glimmer of hope. I will be interested in this SaSon scene. Yes, I will. Because if Sonny doesn't know the love of his life-- all is lost. Then I know it's time for a vacation.