Sunday Surgery: A Ball, A Bullet and A Baby

STRIPPERS! 

Well, this week was certainly full of VARIETY! We had the conclusion of the Nurses Ball....the Jake/Liz secret, a proposal, much sex, shootings and labor--- you name it!  Here I was basking in the delight of a non-mobular few days and... 
WELP. 

No breakfast today, I'm doing brunch. So, grab that Bloody Mary and sit down!  Happy Mother's Day to all you mamas out there! 



Stats this week:
Bullets used: 13
Targets hit: 2
Hours Hayden and Nikolas were in bed: 45
Sandwiches made: 2
Number of Sandbags fallen: 2
Ghosts: 1




Here we go! It was the Magic Milo Show!! I have to say though--this year's Ball seemed to be more "Dollar Store" than anything else. For every 'big player' there, there were at least 4-5 missing.
People NOT at the ball:
Sonny
Nina
Franco
Luke
Bobbie
Ava
Silas
Monica
Mac
Felicia
Morgan 
Kiki
Josslyn
Tracey


That's not to say some couldn't be (Luke who's cray somewhere)..or shouldn't be: MoKi (no thanks) But stuff... just seemed REALLY trimmed down.  We also had characters like Newbie Hayden getting a big story and also rans like Felix trotted out for the event. (not to mention Milo, Epiphany and Lucy). Josslyn should have been there. (She's the new Aiden). The numbers were good, yes but something felt 'off'. 

Where did Emma go after the Ball? Pat and Sam were at the hotel... Anna was out doing her Duke thing.
Weird. 



Bradford's song was wonderful.  The whole Maxie/Ellie/Nate/Spinelli thing? Eh..could have done without. Weeks of the Spinelli Maxie run-around? For what? Oy to the Vey. I guess it was to make Maxie and Nate less boring?  SpinEllie are back together and so are Naxie. Now, question is: who gets Georgie? Spin still has custody, right? What if they move back to Seattle? Is that going to be a whole 'other' thing? 




Liz of course, found out the "Secret of Jake" and then convinced herself it was ok to lie about it because "she deserved it" and the "universe was making it happen". Plus, hey, everyone thinks Jason is dead and they are ok with that so...why rock the boat? Never mind Aiden--or Monica (who I don't think she even bothered to mention). Let's roll! She got him home, had a few guilt flashbacks, then went to bed with him. THEN--she talked to the old Jason photo like it was real. 




Heh...perhaps this story won't be so bad after all! Maybe Liz goes full on Nina-Heather! I personally do NOT want to see her have guilt and junk for how many months it's going to take for this secret to come out. Nope. Just let her love what she's doing. Can I hope she gets PG too? ahahaaa. Just when Jake finds out he's Jason..BOOM. Why have her get pregnant? Welp. It's Soap 101. I can see it now: Jason and Sam realize just who he his...the memories rush back and..wait. He's going to be a Daddy! With Liz! 
Then, of course, Carly finds out and kills everyone so....



By the way, this is our "Thing"
What? 
You know, the sandwich 'thing' we eat them every time before talking about..sex
Cool. Pass the mustard



Courtney was back, and don't let ABC fool you. There is NO way in HELL she got voted back "fan fave" to show up. No way. I never had a huge problem with her, but people loathed her character. These scenes were great--she was good with little Spencer and made him more human. Of course, he pulled his mask off and...



THIS is his scar. Yep. That's it. Now, I'm glad the kid isn't "maimed for life" but..er..um... Hello. I used to get worse falling off my bike.  The best part of all this is of course, Spence finds out his Mom was a totally Towine. :giggle: No one gave this kid the skivvy on his Mom? Ever? She was also a Stripper (aka: Daisy). She didn't mention that deet tho.



Hayden and Nik screwed again..and sorry for being crass, but they do "screw" as opposed to anything else. She takes off her clothes and basically says "do me or I'll tell". He complies. THEN she blackmails him with the knowledge that Jake is "Jason"--and well, she's moving in. 
Ask for jewels and faberge eggs next, girl! 



I get nothing from these two. I was amused however, that Mikey kissed Sabrina and then they talked for an hour on the couch. LOL. Yep. Not much of a kiss, I'd say! 



Sam chooses this night to tell her Daddy he's gonna be a Daddy--and Olivia goes into Labor. She sits in a chair for probably an hour... and then pushes the baby out (with an audience of 12).


 The baby isn't crying. We'll find out later what's up with that. Given the fact it's ONLY 4 MONTHS old though, well, you do the math. I guess we are just supposed to believe a totally HUGELY SORA'd fetus at this point. 



Duke and Anna...awwww. Carpe Diem. You go you two! Act like crazy star-struck teens! You're older, you have money, your kids are grown..go ! Only..wait. Duke has "one more thing to do" before midnight. He tells Anna to "meet him". NO! Never "Meet Him/Her" on a soap for godsakes!! Duke tries to call off  the never-ending damn hit on Jordan but Bruce won't answer the phone. He's busy skulking around Jordan's with his gun out, looking guilty. 
While I enjoyed the Duke Anna scene, the rest of the day and a half quickly dissolved into one of the biggest messes in recent memory. I give you:



Stupid, STUPID STUPID dialog between Anna and Sloane. It was ridiculous. If the writers really even thought Sloane and Anna had ANYTHING between them they are CRAZY. Having him come to her room and for her to let him in?????? Nutty-Pants. Just Nutty-Pants. She should have kicked him in the balls and told him to take a hike. But! Nope! They stay there. He tries to convince her to not to leave. She folds clothes. He mentions family and that he might like her a bit. (UGH) (more on them later)






Meanwhile--Let's visit Jordan. Bruce, working with 2 brain cells, calls Shawn to "lure" him out of her apartment. Then, they leave the DOOR OPEN. (Um, didn't she just almost get KILLED??) Bruce, finally skulks in and shoots at whatever is in front of him which happens to be pillows. Ah, the ol' PILLOW Trick!! Jordan does make up for the last few weeks of 'no one hitting the side of a barn" and blows Bruce away with 2 shots. She doesn't talk to him. Nope. Just fires shots. 



Speaking of blabbin... Over in the Garage, Carlos talks Duke just about to death. Yep...blah blah blabber. Then, the both reach for the gun. It goes off. Who does it hit? We'll find out later!! 





Speaking of the garage...the next few scenes that happen here goes down in my hall of WUB- DUH. (right next to Ric gets a blood transfusion at the B andW Ball from Sonny using a garden hose). 
First, Jake walks in (post Liz sex) and notices a gun/blood. He says: "What happened here"?  
Good Lord. What the hell do you THINK happened there? SO.. what does he do? Walk away? Nah. Call 911? why do that? Check the SUV parked there? WHY? NO  he walks around the gun. Looks at it. Walks around. Squats down. Examines the 'scene. Then he hears something and he.........PICKS UP THE GUN.
OFF the GROUND.
NEXT to the BLOOD.
He picks it UP!! 
Who's there? Why it's Nate and Maxie! Leaving the Ball. It's a wonder that Carlos could have talked to Duke for ages with people coming/going from that event but I digress. 
What happens next? Nate looks down, sees the blood, sees the gun and arrests Jake. Which, I guess isn't too weird. But then? MAXIE basically questions Jake. "Where were you" "Who did you shoot"..blah blah blah... 
And...hello. This is the Metro Court. It's a parking garage. There will be security footage. Unless Carlos took out the cameras? 
Anyway, the entire thing, start to finish?
Dumb. 



Jordan is in a panic. She calls Anna --who has her purple bag all packed and ready to go. She and Sloane get over to the apt. Jordan is like: Er, what do I do? I shot this guy.  Fkin' Sloane figures out Duke ordered the hit. He confront Anna. "Give me his location" he says using the most dead-pan voice I've ever heard. And she..runs.
Finally someone does something I can cheer about! Sloane tries to go after her but comes back and basically says screw it. 



Hey Shawn...
Hey TJ...
What 'cha doin?
I don't know,walkin..you know, on the docks like at...2am but it's all good
Sure, 4 people have died horrific deaths down here but..you know..
What you doin?
Waitin' for coffee...:wink:



Anna makes her way to the docks, where the clock chimes midnight. Where's Duke? Where is he? Why he stumbles out of the mist and...and..collapses at her feet with a gunshot wound! 
Will he die like so long ago when he came to her in her livingroom with another face? Granted it wasn't really Duke, but at the time we thought it was Duke so.... 
Yes, it will be sad but get this: Since this show yanks around death so much it just doesn't move me. Not an inch. Last time I thought it was really over/over was Robin and it was sad and wonderful in a bittersweet way. Never again. Nope. So bye Duke--for now.  I'm not even going sniffle. 



SCENE OF THE WEEK: Call me soppy but I really loved this number... it was cute and fresh and I just liked it a lot. 



FACE OF THE WEEK (NUMBER 1): Shawn...come at me, man!! Tries to get Jules to fight.



FACE OF THE WEEK (NUMBER 2): Yep. That's Nikolas looking at Hayden naked. Now..I'm not sure but it sure seems like he's going "Do I HAVE to"??? 



PROP OF THE WEEK: Those doors. Geesh, never have a pair of door been so featured. Bruce leaned on them 9x. Shawn walked out..Bruce walked in. The rest is feather-down history.



SPONSOR OF THE WEEK: Aveeno! Thank you for lending us your creamy goodness for our Nurses Ball! 



CATTY SIDE NOTE: Lose the extensions. Bleck

Now... you may say I'm a dreamer.
But I'm not the only one. 
I still dream the dream that this can all be written in a way that doesn't make me feel like I'm being talked down to. Like I've never seen a million good cop/mob/murder shows.  Like I don't want complex plots and scenes with intricate dialog. Ah hell. Whatever. Let's move on to the BIG news of the week:



He's going! Tony's retiring! But I did read the door 'might be open'. Oh HELL no. Please. I really want Luke to go out in a spectacular fashion...like diving on a bomb to save Rocco or something.  *sigh* if it's going to be a Fluke Repeat I'm not so sure. Remember the last time we saw him he was talking to "Fluke" again.  Genie's back too so I'm going to cross fingers. The last 4 times she's been back I've about hated every story.
Geesh, I sound pessimistic, don't I?  

Until Next Year...