Sunday Surgery: Clickbait

 

"Clickbait"- like the type you get on Twitter trying to get you to a juicy story that turns out to be nada. NOT "Clickbait" the series which managed to be pretty twisty.  Disappointed doesn't begin to cover my feelings for this week. Thank goodness Friday's show was well done, had great dialog and was compact. I felt better after Friday!! 

I almost wish I did a podcast so you could hear my inflections but it's too much work.  Maybe I should try to do an audio reading like Kindle does. This is going to be a biggie. It's also going to be difficult to get everything in I need to say. 

Let's give it a go. Sonny's Sauce is 1/2 price at the Nixon Falls Fire Sale and Carly wants us all to try the amazing coffee he made. 

WHERE DO I BEGIN?? Where??? I guess I'll go right from the jump of the Carson Wedding. The wedding I looked forward to for MONTHS. The one where I was so hoping the glory of decades long story would come full circle. The one I was giddy about. Even though I knew it would be a mess...it would be there for a least awhile.  It would have played better with so many more beats if Jarly would have gotten married about a month ago.  Had to live together as husband and wife. Fight attraction. Plan against the five families together. Bond.  I have a lot more but that's the gist of it. Anyway, didn't get that. Didn't get Sonny back as "Mike".  No. No no no. What we got (as Britt said) was "A reset button". 

BLOW UP OF THE WEEK: Limo goes boom. Who's Limo? Oh you know who... Novak and the other guy. Sprayed all over the church parking lot like Sunday Sauce. Jarly end up down at the Metro garden. You know, kill 2 guys, no one cares. The reception is basically a bore. The town does manage to clap for Jason and Carly frequently. They shower them with wub and well wishes. The happy couple basks in the glory of their matrimony. Meanwhile, we are also watching the whole Nixon Falls fallout happen at the same time and boy, is SONNY PISSED: 

BLOW OUT OF THE WEEK:  Scene: Nixon Falls hospital.  Sonny's wakes to find he's 100% memory restored.  Phyllis confirms he's not Mike anymore. Nina goes into the lion's den. He's ready to bite her head off. 'I REMEMBER EVERYTHING!! NIEEENAAAAH"!!!! YOU didn't love ME!! You loved MIKE!! MIKE'S GONE!! Sonny then checks himself out and goes to find "his wife".  Nina's left to cry on Jax's shoulder and explain the Peter Problem to Vanna. 

"GREAT STRATEGY" OF THE WEEK:  Picture it: Tuesday. We are all gathered at our TVs because the day before Sonny comes home. Don't bother trying to figure out how he got past the guards. Nah, revel in his delight at looking at all the pictures downstairs. See Carly and Jason kissing upstairs...watch Sonny slowly ascending the steps until....Wait? Did you think something BIG would happen? Something to make your heart pound? A moment that will live in soap infamy? Well, pack that up sister. Because Carly barely gets Jason's first button undone when Sonny comes in. Carly faints. Sonny looks at Jason. Jason looks at Sonny.  And then? ....Then??? 

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Carly wakes up, Sonny explains he's lost his memory all this time and gee, but he just got it back. But wait-- he's going to say something about Jarly being all dressed up and married, right?? RIGHT??? Oh, no. No he's not. He's actually going to PRAISE them for keeping the family safe and business going. He's just so freaking giddy to be back he doesn't even notice his best friend and wife were going to bang in his bedroom. Nah. He's pleased as punch. "Great Strategy, guys". Let's get a drink. 

LIE OF THE WEEK: Sonny insisting that he was 'trying to get back to his family' all this time. That's bullshit. If I knew how to stitch together video clips I'd make a 30 minute one of him saying he didn't WANT TO KNOW HIS PAST, he was HAPPY IN NIXON FALLS and basically told the one cop in town that could ID him to take a hike. So ..yeah, can't rewrite that. Sorry. Don't even make it seem like he wanted back in his life. 

ADULATION OF THE WEEK:  Lest we all forgot what an all-powerful show "hero" of a   character Sonny Corinthos is, let us remind you. Shining eyes when he gets home. Tears of joy that he's back. Hell, even Ava's saying she's glad she can leave Avery with him. Such a good Dad...tried SO HARD to get back home all these months (ha ha).  Sonny's back in the golden throne. Step aside Jason, your placeholding days are over. Climb back on that motorcycle and do the grunt work. You'll never get the girl either. You said it yourself:  "I'll never be you". 

BACK-PEDDLE OF THE WEEK: Maybe not so much a back-peddle but at least a moment or two of clarity for Jarly. When Sonny is out, they talk about what just happened. LW did a good job of being both happy that her husband was home but also yearning a bit for what could have been. They sit close; they hold hands. Jason says it best though; Sonny's back and that's the way it is--he comes first. They also pledge they will be there for each other always and forever. Sounded like vows to me. 

FALL OUT OF THE WEEK: Nina goes back to Port Charles. Sees Maxie then ends up going to Nathan's grave and running into Sonny. Sonny proceeds to yell at her through tears. Wait a minute---tears?? Yep. You see, Nina goes to to explain the glory that was Mike and how she was so happy he 'fell in love with her'. Oooff. That's right Sonny, you're alter-ego was head over heels. And get this: He flashes back to a kiss. Perfect pitch scenes right there. Cynthia and Maurice did a fine job. I would have made Sonny a bit softer in them but, you know, Sonny gotta be Da Man. 

ADDING INSULT TO INJURY OF THE WEEK: You really decide to put Jason and Britt in a scene together the morning after the wedding and Sonny's return? Really? After Jason was all about HER then in no time at all was all about Carly? Don't even go there...not yet. Maybe not ever. That was some messing with us the first time around. We need a break. Thank you for having Britt walk out on his ass. See ya. 

THE PETER PART OF THE WEEK: Peter is FINALLY cornered like a rat and Anna shoots him. Thank you Anna for at least shutting him up. Valentin shows up with a gun too. They have TWO GUNS on him and--get distracted by the phone. BY THE PHONE. Weren't these people in the WSB? Anyway, our 'villain' jumps over the bank and into--THE RIVER. Maybe he'll meet Julian along the way? That river just sucks in the bodies doesn't it? Oh, yeah and we all know he's not dead so... gird those loins. 

THE PETER PART TWO OF THE WEEK: Oh at least I could laugh a bit Friday when Maxie, Britt and Scotty got together to talk about Liesl. Scotty gets a migraine finding out Sonny is alive but vows to rescue his lady love. Hooray! Meanwhile, Liesl is tucked away in Victor's lair. He tells her his reason for keeping her; he wants her to love him and oh yeah, work on a research project too! He says Britt needs her, uses emotion to wear her down. BUT! SNAP! She has a dagger at his throat at the end. Way to go Dr O!

MOVE OF THE WEEK: Esme and Spencer move into Wyndemere. Kevin sees her as a spoiled rich kid. Nikolas doesn't notice because...well, spoiled rich kid. Since the staff is invisible, Esme being all snotty is really lost in the wind. Nik and Spence find out that Sonny is alive, giving hope to Nik that Ava won't leave town. Spencer is elated; he loves his Uncle Sonny. Esme is NOT happy. She thinks this will put Nik and Ava back together. Why does she care so much anyway? 

SMART PERSON IN THE ROOM OF THE WEEK: Geesh, Trina...you don't need to go to PCU. You're a genius! Not sure if having Cam help you expose Spencer is the best trick in the book though. He's doesn't have the brains for that. Oh thank goodness you call Joss to help out. The gang is going to trap those two into confessing. 

THE BORING PARTS OF THE WEEK:  As always; Millow. Talking about their banal lives together gave off no soap vibes at all. Chase kinda forgave them and played with Bailey. Liz and Terry plotted to keep Britt's mind off the wedding. 

SCENE OF THE WEEK: I don't think Lexi was acting--because it's been so damn long since she was on the show, she honestly hadn't seen Maurice in years. Anyway, thank GOD for this scene on Thursday. She did it up. WHY isn't this GIRL ON CONTRACT? I will never understand. She's a great character; a Cassadine-Corinthos hybrid. She's bisexual. She's everything. Maybe Lexi doesn't want to be tied to the show. Not sure but dang. Notice Krissy wasn't even in Charlie's the next day. Gone again? 

It's my Julian Jerome Fall '20 collection....

LINE OF THE WEEK:  "What the hell are you wearing"? Says Carly to Sonny. 

WEEK IN A WUBSHELL: 

Limo blows up killing Novak and The Other Guy, Thank You Ms WU! 

Jason and Carly share a first dance and a kiss at home until Sonny interrupts

Sonny is greeted by his family who are overjoyed that he's alive

Finn and Liz talk about Peter being up and having a pulse 

Trina, Joss and Cam all decide to get Spencer and Esme to confess to stalking Ava

Ava leaves town (we think) and has Kristina manage the bar for her

Scotty's mind is blown finding out Sonny is alive; now he wants to find Liesl

Maxie doesn't really care about anything but Peter being on the loose

Chase sort of forgives Millow but stresses it 'won't be the same'

Ned and Olivia discuss Leo; doesn't go well

Esme is desperate to keep Nikolas and Ava broken up 

Dr. O holds a knife to Victor Cassadine's neck 

Unsigned divorce papers

SPOILERS:  Rumor has it Epiphany knows Phyllis! Squee!!  Also, Dr. O's knife plan fails, the news of Sonny rising from the dead spreads around Port Charles, and Carly finds out Nina's involvement in the whole Nixon Falls Caper.  Get all the scoops on Diagnosis Daytime. 

WELL, here we are. The end of this blog. I'm thinking that this is starting to be Camelot. Jason is of course Lancelot. So does that mean Carly ends up in a convent?? Poor Carly, finally letting her heart admit that Jason was in there all along and now she has to close it back up. I'm also wondering if Sonny will develop DID and be Mike half the time and Sonny the other half. He should hang on to those flannel shirts.