Sunday Surgery: Pew Pew Fail

 

Another 3 day week !! I could get used to this!! It was a very strange 3 days in my eyes, especially since we never really saw an official "Christmas-Christmas" (people opening gifts etc) and no New Years. Couple that with no Thanksgiving and.. hmmmm... peculiar. The "How Michael Exits" spoiler reel dropped and THAT set the socials on fire...literally. 

Anyway, let's get to it!! Grab what you got and let's.......GO GO 

You know it's been a boring week when you have to go back and look at your blogs to see what happened. It SHOULD have been an exiting three days but it really just fell flat. 

FRENCH LADY MISSES:  Two days of build up and a shrieking Lulu only to have the French lady miss Valentin, Charlotte and him running out and then leaving together (again). I honestly thought Charlotte would choose Lulu in the end and maybe there's more coming -- ?? If not we can hear Lulu yell at Dante about being THISCLOSE for months. Man, she's an angry elf for just waking up after 4 years. Glad Dante told her how selfish she was being.  

WORD OF THE 3 DAYS: Papa.  Lordy it was.. a LOT. 

ANNA TASES:  As if taking Martin hostage wasn't enough of a breech of protocol, Anna stomps into Brennan's office and tases him over...Emma? Over him being polite and being introduced to ..Emma? You'd think he was taking nudie photos of her or something. THEN, after all of that bluster, Anna goes in the hall and has what looks like a mini-meltdown. Crying, shaking..etc. WHAT are they trying to do to this character? Seriously. Is she a bad ass ex-spy WSB Police Officer Commissioner or-- jelly baby? Can't figure it out. Have to hand it to Charles Mesure because his delivery of those lines were just perfection. 

SONNY'S TICKER:  Well, I guess that twinge he had Christmas Eve came back. He's at the gym and... then falls down clutching his chest. Isaiah happens along and calls the paramedics. Sonny's ok and doesn't go to GH because HE AIN'T GOIN' NO-WHERES!  He's also paranoid that Isaiah might run to someone and tell them all about his condition. (Like Isaiah cares) He's a BIG GUY in town and his enemies might try to get him. We also are reminded that Sonny got shot in the chest 20 years ago so, you know... he's in a shaky position heart-wise. Then he asks Jason to take over the biz and Jason says he will short term but long term? He's Danny's only parent. So no-go. Guess they'll have to call Selena Wu or Ava Jerome to help out with that! 

LIZ AND THE GOBLINS: When they had Elizabeth in that room, telling her another woman in her care died in June (OFF CAMERA) and she looked like a deer in headlights it felt SO Disney. Not sure why but I pictured her as Snow White being falsely accused by trolls and then POOF! Her Prince Ric come in to save the day! He tells them to back off and her to not say a word. Anytime Ric's there, I'm cheering.  That was Monday ..2 days of no follow up and no one else really knowing about the cause of death is just making this the most boring ever. Plus, the Dex angle. No family, no funeral (they could have pretended to have a police burial or something?) and Joss acting like nothing happened and, zzzzzzzzz. 

AVA IN A HOLE:  First she pleads to "Mayor Collins" for help with getting her Nikolas-Money back then it's off to Alexis. Being the trustee of the new will, only she can help out Ava. She can't and delights in telling her so. Great actresses with not so great dialog. Ava leaves empty handed and all she knows is the "Cassadine Trust" is running the show. Maybe Stavros crawled out of that pit? Maybe Helena's on a yacht somewhere? Or is it just a blind company? Who knows. 

DREWPY AND WEEPER:  Since we are now all of a sudden on the "love story" of Drillow, they decide to head off to DC together with Wiley and Scout. Only problem is, Willow shouldn't leave without at least telling Michael. Has she lost her mind? In a very confusing set of scenes, Drew stalks Willow to GH and when she's leaving, convinces her to go to his inauguration. This is a couple that before "couldn't get caught" and Willow was ready to work on things. WELP!! Michael finds a giant photo of them on social media looking like a happily married couple and calls Diane.  I don't even know what to think anymore. On Monday they are shown waking up together (where the hell are Scout and Wiley??) in the hotel. Willow's stunned Michael is going for custody. STUNNED. Again, she must have post-cult PTSD or something. 

SASHA AND WUBSY: I tell you what, this is the only story I care about lately. Why? I like the new Scorpio expansion and the Felicia involvement. They did manage to make her a patient advocate for Sasha and it came off as a nice touch. I also think Maxie is the only other character I'm remotely interested in at this time. I used to think Sasha was boring but I'm liking this story. That's it. Can't believe my one bright light is a Scorpio-Corinthos baby.  Wow. I mean....wow. 

OVER AT CHARLIE'S: Yes, this happened Monday. I almost forgot about it. Lucas and Kristina talked about Wiley and life being not fair. Kristina decorated the place with guitars and Lucky walks in wanting to bartend. Yep. That's it! 

THE KICKER is COMING: If you don't want to know what happens to Michael, look away! On Jan 7th, he's going to go up in flames in Sonny's PH. Yep. Looks like a bomb goes off (I'm saying Sidwell) and he's engulfed. Rumor has it he's alive but has to go to some burn unit somewhere. This does two things: Gets him off canvas for the moment and also gives the chance for plastic surgery down the road. Chad wanted to leave and he got his exit! It's a bold move because it's very dramatic and in your face burning up of a body. I honestly thought he'd be missing in a plane crash. Nope! They went the Bob Guza route. 

                                            

Speaking of BOB GUZA: He's over on Beyond the Gates at CBS which premiers in February. It's going into the 2pm time slot which for some of the eastern seaboard and Canada East is when GH is on.  Is GH ramping things up? Don't know but they'd better get things more cohesive in a damn hurry. I've been so frustrated this week and last week with the segmenting of the show and general lack of any story threads weaving together. I'm not going to list them all but damn. I also wonder why I'd be invested in anything at this point when stories like the point-blank murder of an FBI agent is just dropped.  The single best thing that happened was the Q party and the video viewing. After that? It's all gone to hello. The Gio-reveal is taking so long my teeth hurt. Trina and Kai are so isolated I don't care. Even the Curtis plan came off flat. We're back to the Ava-Sonny custody case and Nina's crying about Drew and Willow. Does Diane still have that other Will? Why would you introduce a GH killer plot and pace it like a snail ? Dex's death was a nothing burger on canvas. Molly and TJ should be interesting but TJ has to have the shortest airtime in modern history that involves another half of a couple. I could go ON and ON.  You know the drill.  

That's it!! Hope I wasn't too negative but I want so much more for this show. Too many stories just hanging out there and not shown enough in any order to make a good, exciting tale. I'd like just ONE of the threads to be shown on a consistent basis and make me go "OH"!! I'm not looking forward to the hysteria surrounding Michael's burning, I can tell you that. Carly alone will kill me. 

Let's watch together and just weep, shall we?? Also, question: Are YOU planning on watching Beyond the Gates when it airs?