Sunday, July 5, 2020

Just a 2020 WUB

 Charlie's Bar... 

Julian:  We open at 5pm and I have masks for everyone right here... 
Krissy: Um, I'm not wearing this. 
Julian: Why? 
Krissy: It literally says "Maple Syrup saves Lives" 
Julian: SO? 
Ava: Julian.. you know it's bleach now... (sips martini) or..maybe Lysol. I'm not sure. 
Julian: Ava, put your mask on
Ava: All right, All right.. here. See? It's a Franco original.
Julian:  (squints) that the Leftist sign for...
Ava: Sure is! 
Door opens
Alexis: (rushes in) OMG you don't have one of these in YOUR WINDOW AND I DEMAND IT NOW! (waves paper)
Ava: Um, Alexis, is that a gas mask??
Alexis: Can't be too careful! SO WHAT'S THE DEAL JULIAN, DON'T YOU CARE? Black Lives MATTER! GET IT UP in this PUB!!
Julian:  I have one right on the door! Along with a pride flag...and a trans flag! 
Ava: That's what SHE said... 
Krissy: Oh My GOD Mom.. do you really need "I'll kill your redneck ass" shirt on? 
Alexis: Damn straight. Idiots. Oh wait, speaking of...
Jax: G'Day! 
Julian: Hey, put a mask on, pal. 
Jax: No, I don't think so, it's my right not to wear one. 
Ava: (looks him up and down) are you even an American? 
Jax: Doesn't matter, it's pointless anyway... they don't work.. 
Alexis: (gets out her phone) OH I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU ALLLLLL THE DATA! 
Jax: Look, I don't want any trouble.. just wondered if I could sell these here..
Julian: (takes box)..wait a minute..
Krissy: Um.. (holds up a tropical print) These are..MASKS. 
Jax:  That's right! Big sellers right now.. how many boxes you want?
Julian: GET OUT! 
Door Opens 
Sonny: Don't let that hit you in the ass, Candy-Boy 
Julian: Oh what the hell.. Sonny, it's my first day open, I don't need you around here being  pain
Alexis: Is your mask Al Pacino's face? 
Sonny: One and ONLY!  Listen, Julian...I need somethin' 
Ava: Hi Sonny... 
Sonny: Shut up, Ava... Julian I can't get your coffee this week because our imports are being strangled by customs..
Julian: So what? 
Sonny: I want my money anyway because Carly and I are going to Bezo's house next week and I need cash. 
Julian: They shut down your island? 
Alexis: yeah, I saw some arrests come out...need a lawyer? 
Sonny: Just get my dough ready, Jerome, I'll be back. 
Ava: EESH, you know he's up to his eyeballs in that situation.... 
Sonny: I'm in the process of getting ventilators for the hospital and literally saving this town so you know...
Everyone: Yeah, you'll be featured in 90% of the shows coming up... 
Jason walks in...Stares.
Julian: Um...Sonny, your dog is here
Jason: Blink Stare
Sonny: Wha ?? 
Jason: We got a situation... 
Sonny: And? 
Jason: Carly is freaking out because Mayor Webber is going to paint "Black Lives Matter" on the street in front of the hotel. 
Sonny: (eyeroll) Seriously? 
Sonny: Is it bad? 
Jason: She's eating all the cake she can get her hands on..
Sonny: Let's go... 
Lucas: (walks in, drunk) HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!! How ya doin? My husband is in jail.. I have nothing and I think I got COVID from a patient yesterday...
Ava: Um, you think we should tell him it's July? 
Julian: OUT! GET OUT!! Kristina, wipe down the door and  where his feet have been!! General Hospital: 

Liz: (on phone) Well, we have the patients comfortable and things are pretty quiet, Gran..thanks for taking care of the boys for months and doing their Zoom schooling. Where would I be without you?? 
Felix: I'm tired, girl.. I've been here three weeks straight. I get called in to do the Nurses Ball and I am. 
Liz: It's awful they aren't having it this year.
Lucy: You bet your bottom it's awful! 
Liz: Lucy! What are you doing here? Personnel only! 
Lucy: Oh, that doesn't apply to me, silly.. 
Felix: Um, yes, it really does. 
Lucy: Oh you're just joking... that sore throat I had yesterday is completely gone! 
Liz: You're going to need to come with us... 
Finn: (comes around corner, holding 2 swabs) Already ON IT! 
Lucy: (runs) 

At the Corinthos: 

Trina: (watching her phone) Oh my God, but Claudia Conway is hysterical... 
Dev: I don't think that's appropriate content for us to be viewing! 
Joss: :eyeroll: Oh, Dev, go watch Hamilton again.. 
Dev: Yes, it is now on Disney Plus and is my ticket to learning about American history..thanks Josslyn, daughter of Sonny. 
Cam: What do you have to eat around here? 
Joss: I don't know, mom always has Cheetos in the pantry..
Trina and Cam catch each other's eyes... laugh..
Joss: What's so funny???
Cam: Oh, nothing... laughs harder
Trina: Well, we decided your mom is the biggest KAREN in town!! 
Joss: Oh HA HA... don't you think I don't know that!!? Oh my GOD...
Trina: What??
Joss: LOOK! (shows her phone)
Trina: Girl, I'm going to just faint. 
Cam: What.. I um.. Kanye is running for president? What!!? This can't be true
Joss: But it is, Cam.. 
Dev (pops back in) Does that mean I can cast my vote for The Yezzy in November? 

At the Quartermaines: 

Ned: Oh, the stock market is looking fine! Just fine... 
Michael: Of course it is, we are on the right track! I'm feeling pretty good about my haircut and all that investment in the Hydrocholorquinine... 
Olivia: You believe in that hooey? 
Michael: Doesn't matter, we made 5 million on it just in the last.. um.. (looks at Apple Watch) 20 minutes. 
Olivia: (eyes narrow) Look, I'm hungry, anyone want to order from The Rib? 
Ned: Where's Cook 2? 
Olivia: Oh, she got those brain amoebas last week, she's at GH 
Ned: Well, ok, but don't use Grub Hub, they are the worst. 
Willow: Hey... I just got in from outside and... there is something really wrong in the rose garden. 
Olivia: Lila's roses! What about them? 
Willow: I don't know but I saw some really big hornets out there. Like the size of my thumb!


  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This was great. I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Awww the picture of the Tribbles/Moss!! Someone on the cast or crew better be taking care of them!!!! If not, they will die, and no more Tribbles/Moss. :( Maybe the child of Tribbles/Moss can take over. :)

    "Julian: Hey, put a mask on, pal.
    Jax: No, I don't think so, it's my right not to wear one."

    Hahaha yeah I don't see Jax saying that. He isn't the type. Krissy is the type to say that. :)

    "Ava: Hi Sonny...
    Sonny: Shut up, Ava... '


  2. This was hilarious! Well done Wubsie!!

  3. I think Sonny and Kristina wouldn't wear a mask

  4. You are hired as the new writer. SO FUNNY

  5. Dylan Cash (young red haired Michael) was replaced by an older actor, Drew Garrett when the younger Michael was put in a coma after taking a bullet meant for Sonny.Drew Garrett was replaced a year later by Chad Duell. There is a hilariously funny video on youtube about the reason why this happened.

  6. LOL. Lots of thought went into this. Very clever. Wish you were a GH writer.

  7. Hilarious.....thanks for the chuckles :-)

  8. This was fabulous, I'm still laughing! Thanks!


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