Thursday, January 1, 2015

General Hospital's New Year's Resolutions

Here they are...I got these after EXTENSIVE interviews with cast, crew and just about everyone in between. You're welcome.

Faison and Helena shall always appear together as often as possible, dressed to the 9s. They resolve to take Spencer and Josslyn under their wings to teach them the ways of the shape-shifters. 

Sonny resolves to never use the words "dead to me" ever again unless he truly kills someone. He also shall not throw barware unless he aims it at someone's head. 

Shawn resolves to take target practice 4x a week until he can hit the broad side of a barn at 100 paces.

Franco resolves to change his name to Todd and forget this ever happened. 

NuSt.JaseFace will get his memory back by January 10th or resolve to be Jake forever. 

Carly resolves to think before speaking and use at least 40% of her airtime LISTENING instead of TALKING. 

Morgan, Kiki and Michael will take a trip to Temptation Island and stay there.

The GH writers resolve to have at least one baby born in the next 2 years that isn't a WTD, kidnapped, DNA or switch story. 

Either this guy turns into a vampire or he moves to Cleveland. 

Spencer will be forced to resolve to not use the ferry and or drivers to romp around PC at his own whims.

Fluke resolves to stop this asap and reveal the whole thing by January 6th or face certain death by fan firing squad. 

Tracy resolves to find her brain again and do some damage to everyone in Port Charles

Monica resolves to find those snacks and be on screen for more than 3x in 2015.

Bob the Badger resolves to be brought out of storage and take his rightful place in DukeSon's office 

Sam resolves to go shopping and get out of her Lulu Lemon wear and into real clothes by March. 

Nina resolves to take her medication. HA! Just kidding.

Heather resolves to only eat 14 BLTs a year instead of the usual 33. 

Anna and Jordan resolve to move not use the park bench as their "secret" meeting place 

The set designers promise to redo Maxie's apartment to resemble something out of this century and not an acid flashback.

Bobbie resolves to take over the Brownstone and the following resolve to move in: Carlos, Scotty, Lucy, Lante, Brad, Epiphany and Milo. 

Sabrina resolves to volunteer in Africa for a long, long time.

Wubs Resolves not to cry and scream if things don't go her way. 

Wardrobe resolves to have Julian and Nathan as shirtless as possible. 

#GH fans resolve not to clog the stream with shipping wars and stupid comments to actors. 

Ava promises more of this 

Silas promises less of this 




AntJoan said...

Oh, Happy New Year!! I am first for the year. Yay!!

kdmask said...

yea JOAN!

Michelle Latta said...


MatchboxGinny said...

Hahahaaa! Good one! Happy New Year!

Julie Langley said...

Fabulous! Happy 2015, y'all!

RedSoxFaninVA said...

Hilarious! Happy New Year, Karen!

Di said...

lol Karen. Are they the GH resolutions or Karen's dream sequence? If only.

Happy New Year everyone.

Panda said...

These are so funny! I agree with all of them. Especially want some new sets. When I spend time looking at the ugly sets it means that what's happening on my screen isn't interesting enough to keep my attention. Maxie's apartment is hideous. I was just thinking fondly of Bob the Badger on Tuesday! I wish they'd bring him to Duke's office and get rid of that weird light thing that looks like a giant eyeball. The walls of the new Metro Court dining room remind me of the inside of a casket, so I find them very creepy to look at. Happy New Year to all and let's hope some of these resolutions come true in 2015!

soaplover said...

Oh, I SO agree about Maxie's apartment. That girl would never live in a place that ugly. Why do all GH apartments have to have brick or stone walls? I lived in a duplex once that had brick walls and it was so cold in winter we froze (no way to insulate!). How about some flattering salmon pink walls, cream woodwork, cut flowers, cream sofa, navy blue chairs with some patterned pillows? Salmon pink reflects warmth back into skin tones.

I've been hoping they would redecorate the Metro Court--but not like that... And that 'penthouse' of Sam's--so boring and inelegant. How about black and white and some red and silver accents?

But I protest dumping Michael Easton. Maybe the doctor could disappear and ME could return as a new tough cop to join the PCPD. I really like the actor--he has long been one of my favorite TV actors, but Silas is not a good fit for him. And it means he has to be involved in some way with Nina who I find annoying in the extreme. Good actress or not, she is super ANNOYing. Ava can be annoying, too, but somehow tolerably so.

And Todd should definitely be Todd. Making him Franco was a BiiIIGG mistake. He is another favorite actor, but this time around I keep wanting people to stop calling him Franco, one of my least favorite characters ever. Just name him Ted and have him start over, like Easton should. Both actors are delicious, but hampered by identities that they have to overcome.

Bobbie Pink said...

Hopefully once the lawsuit between PP & ABC is resolved then Todd and Co will be back!