Sunday, April 17, 2011

Wubqueen Interviews: Frian Brons!

NOTE! **due to copyrite issues, wubsnet is forced to conceal the identity of this high powered studio exec. If you think you know, don't tell anyone, don't want the Wubqueen in jail, right? This meeting took place at Tender Greens in Culver City. He wore a pink hat and google-glasses for a disguise. I of course, wore my lobster dress. 

Wubsnet: Wow, this place looks great...what do you usually order? 

FBrons: Come on, I can't tell you that...then you'd know who I am. Plus, it's trademarked.  Let's make this snappy, I have money to make.

Wubsnet: Okay...well, you've been taking a lot of heat lately for the decision you made to cancel some of the most beloved television shows in history...

FBrons: Allegedly...

Wubsnet: Excuse me?

FBrons: Allegedly beloved...because where I live,  sweetheart, they aren't cuttin' the mustard.  Kappesh? 

Wubsnet: You have to admit there is a huge history there and a giant fanbase of all diverse types that follow those shows...

FBrons: I admit to nothing. Pass the breadsticks. Sweetheart, look, I know all of you and your little friends are really upset about this but there's nothing I can do. It's done. We're bringing in the full line of Glad Bags, Prego sauces and Gatoraid to piggy-back on our shows. Product placement, that's where it's at. Plus the fact Tim Gunn costs about one 10th of what one of those divas cost. 

Wubsnet: Why did you choose to save General Hospital over the other shows ??

FBrons: Two words: Clink BOOM. everytime. I need some spikes in the ratings? Click BOOM. Press from Extra? Click BOOM. And someone's dimples don't hurt matters either. heh. Got anything else? 

Wubsnet: Did you know that the First Lady watches One Life?  And Snoop Dogg...and Carol Burnett is a huge AMC fan? 

FBrons: So? Your point is? Look,  I don't care if the Pope himself watches. I have a cooking show to  produce.  Mario Batali and his crocks are waiting. Now, if I can only get Franco on that show too? I'd be in heaven. 

Wubsnet: So, what you're saying is there's no hope.

FBrons: Not in my book. You can always throw yourselves into the ocean to make a statement-- go on hunger strikes... maybe you can drum up press for the new stuff, but as for this? Nah So, write your blogs-- get all crazy. Whatever. Hey, are you gonna eat the rest of that shrimp?? 

Wubsnet: No, lost my appetite. 

FBrons: Waiter! I'll have a to-go baggie!! Every penny helps, sister.


Hope said...

Sadly, you have nailed it.

Samanthadelayed said...

I started to read this on the bus this morning but had to stop because I was afraid my laughter would scare the other passengers!! Well done!