Sunday, April 9, 2017

Sunday Surgery: Half-Pint

One last hurrah for a bit.. I'm going to give you the "highlights" of some of this week because I basically stopped watching half-way through. When I think of all the possibilities -- when I think of all the beats missed and history just messed with so badly--I could scream. You know I'll probably watch at some point. Right this minute I just can't deal.



Hi! Remember me, Dillon? Yeah, we went to HIGH SCHOOL together!! OMG...didn't you see me at ALL last year at the Nurses Ball? No? Well...whatever...its' THIS YEAR'S Nurses Ball so I guess I get a story!! HOW COOL IS THAT!? OMG and guess what!!!? Like Kristina is my best friend or something. I'm not sure. I do talk to her on the phone all the time. No. we've not actually had a scene together but whatever. OMG I loved you so much in high school. WHAT? YOU Love Game of Thrones?? ME TOO!! SO MUCH! Wait, you have a GIRL FRIEND?  Oh that sucks and I'm so mad now. I mean.. weren't you waiting for me since we graduated??? 




I Am a MONK! you can tell by the MONK CLOTHES and my beard!! Long ago, in another time a man came here and gave us this painting to give to his daughter upon his death. But being NOT NICE MONKS we shall sell it for millions! The man gave us a letter to deliver to the woman in the painting. We had no idea she'd ever show up. But! Here she is in the nick of time. How convenient !! 




OMG.......who am I hugging?  I have no clue because I haven't been on a soap in eons! Last time I was in Pine Valley. Now my sister summons me to this god for saken place to convince Valentin that he did mean something to me all those years ago. Why she has pity for him no one knows. It's funny because I literally haven't heard a word from her in..oh... decades. Has the audience even heard of me? Hmmm.I wonder. I wonder if all those new viewers will get a clue to what's happening. Or if the older viewers will even care I'm back. I was on another soap after all. Oh well.. it sure is fun playing a twin. 



Oh for F*k sake. This good looking man with an accent is telling me I did everything against Carly and it wasn't even HER FAULT? What the hell? I mean, I kept this poker chip with me all these years to remind me what a lying scum my father was, how was I supposed to know he'd lie about that!!? Crap. NOW I have to go apologize to Sonny and come clean and tell him I didn't sleep with him. Because....
Carly's going to sleep with Jax ..
She will find out about my lying and feel guilty... 
Sonny will want her back! Hey just like the time...
Sonny thought Carly slept with Jax 
But she didn't
But he got mad and slept with me!
But he didn't ! 
Carly found out and got mad because she thought he did! 
What a GREAT STORY!! Get it? It's just like a wheel that keeps spinning and spinning and....



I think I left Charlotte in my purse. She should be here! Griffin...did I tell you how much I miss Charlotte?? Did I? She's my DAUGHTER.  Did you know that??  She is!! MINE I TELL YOU! 
What? What's that? Rocco? Oh I have no idea, I think my mother has him. Doesn't matter, I have a daughter now!! 




Um...want some mustard? No? Well, I have some here--Curtis brought it. See he's the new town delivery boy and... what? WHAT DID I DO? I was really mean to you when I was detoxing? Gee, who would have thought I would be mouthy and nasty when I'm trying to get a major chemical mix out of my blood system? Now you're mad? I guess begging to stay here with me while I went through that didn't work out so well, right? 



Kid, I know you like me and get get along pretty well. I got you to draw that funky "scarecrow" and everything but you see, I'm a bad character that used to practically eat little kids for breakfast so... we gotta cool it. Sorry, man. Catch ya on the flip side. I have to go paint my lady now. Titanic Style. 



I am a mysterious crying woman that lives with the MONKS--don't call me Snow White though. I have a feeling I'm here to suddenly find out Port Charles is my destiny. 

PILL UPDATE: Yeah, there still floating around. Ava tried to steal them, Scotty tried and then Dante got them. Snore. 

And.......there you have it.  I'm not even going into everything that was wrong or the history that was trashed--nope! Not gonna do it. You've seen my rants long enough. I just wish soaps in the USA would buy a clue from England. Just take a look at Hollyoaks for 2 minutes. They are doing the dementia show GH should have done years ago.  Single camera work too. Character focused. 




PROP OF THE WEEK: this scary looking scarecrow that Dr. Maddox had in his magic box.  Why do they make scenes so damn short? Perfect example of a glimpse not a development of a story. *sigh*


I guess I'll see you when I see you!! 

27 comments:

AntJoan said...

I guess I am first again, thanks for the SS, PLEASE don't stay away for long, Karen!!

Ruthie said...

Maybe we are all looking at this wrong. Tilt our heads a little, just maybe this is a parody of a soap, like the movie, "soap dish".
Just a random thought

ishouldreadmore said...

Oh, man, when Amy being on the show is a highlight, you KNOW things are bad bad bad.
Don't stay away too long, Karen. Your wit and biting insights help make the show tolerable. You always have a way of explaining why the things we feel are wrong ARE wrong.

Pat said...

I hope the writers read your column, but it seems that the more the fans hate a storyline, the more the writers write it.

ShadyGurl said...

Pat. you are so right it sure seems the more the fans go crazy on social media about a story line or a character the more the EP and writers force it.. Kidneygate is just horrible and insulting to viewers who see and knows what happen..

sonya said...

Hahahaha this was great Karen! :)

"Hi! Remember me, Dillon? Yeah, we went to HIGH SCHOOL together!! OMG...didn't you see me at ALL last year at the Nurses Ball? No? Well...whatever.."

I have been meaning to say that!!!! Didn't they see each other at the nurses ball? Didn't he see her on stage? Didn't she see him on stage?!!?

"Because....Carly's going to sleep with Jax .."

I hope so!!!! :)

"I am a mysterious crying woman that lives with the MONKS-"

I think she would be perfect with Ravi from Y&R!:)

cooks7570 said...

The only day I liked was Valerie being on Friday's show.

AMC GH said...

Do we know for sure that the Anna that we've been saying is really Alex because they're letting this go on for days. If it turns out you really be Anna I'm going to be so upset I may never ever watch again. I do not want him screwing up the history of Anna at all. Back off – don't mess with the Scorpios!! It is totally ridiculous that Amy is shocked the Dillon and Kiki are together considering she sat there and watch them sing a duet at the nurses Ball last year! If they don't send Lulu on maternity leave soon I want to go crazy. No wonder Charlotte think she's psycho -she is! And that huge purse that is supposed to cover up the baby bump is bigger then the actress. And my last complaint is that Rebecca Herbst is so gorgeous and watching her kiss on Roger Haworth with that godforsaken hair and a ponytail, all floppy, Unshaven and nasty with paint made me ill. Elizabeth deserves so much better – come on GH – either clean him up or switch him back for Todd. Frizz is not working for me. Bring back lucky – bring back a Nicholas / anything anybody I do not like Liz with Franco , I do not like Franco with Liz, I do not do not like them Sam I am (not liking her either!)

K said...

sonya said...

"Hi! Remember me, Dillon? Yeah, we went to HIGH SCHOOL together!! OMG...didn't you see me at ALL last year at the Nurses Ball? No? Well...whatever.."

I have been meaning to say that!!!! Didn't they see each other at the nurses ball? Didn't he see her on stage? Didn't she see him on stage?!!?

** My thought there is, he was doing what everyone here has been trying to do, since she first showed up on screen: Trying to erase her existence completely from our minds and memories. It's the one answer that makes the most sense, to me.


"I am a mysterious crying woman that lives with the MONKS-"

** She looked like the woman that was on Cassadine Island, that was supposed to be Charlotte's surrogate, to me, I thought. (Which is probably just my brain mixing stuff up is all)

I think she would be perfect with Ravi from Y&R!:)

** That would be just fine for me! I'm kinda on Jack's side about him and Ashley. (but not as much as he is) I don't think there is anything wrong if he and Ashley were together, so to speak. I just don't see that it would really "work", is all. While it wouldn't be as bad as the Billy/Phyllis debacle, I just can't see how it could work in the long run, for him and Ashley. Just as I really can't see the upcoming Scott/Phyllis pairing, that is about to start soon, apparently.

K

K said...

I guess I'm in the minority here when it comes to the whole Anna/Alex situation. I went back and rewatched her scenes with VC and Griffin, this week. To me, Fin just looked like and came across to me as, being physically, mentally, and emotionally drained from finding out why she was unable to remember, and learning what exactly happened between her and VC in the past. And felt absolutely horrified and remorseful, for what went down with them. What I saw really didn't remind me of Alex at all.

K

K said...

The other thing that's been tugging at me this week, ever since Jax "revealed" to Carly, that he was the one that got the kidney through Frank Benson (which EVERYONE here had figured it out, months ago) and which I'm not even gonna say anything about how much history is being rewritten, and how it makes ZERO sense. That said, I keep coming back to that silver rattle with "Caroline" engraved on it, that Nell took out several times, implying that it had a LOT of significance to the storyline. But now that it turns out that she was Frank Benson's biological daughter, and has no blood relation with Carly at all. So what the hell was the point of it? It doesn't make sense and/or fit in with the new rewriting of history, in anyway at all. (Besides it just being Jelly being Jelly, and is just making the shit up as they go along, except for the bare idea of what the storyline will be, but as far as the details go, they will get filled in, when they absolutely have to be, and not before.

K

MatchboxGinny said...

Looks like Frank, Varni, and Jelly are completely satisfied with their dismal ratings and horrific writing for GH. Remember, Frank praises Jelly as "great storytellers". How disappointing.....and insulting to GH viewers.

Panda said...

So funny and right on the money as usual!

AntJoan said...

Happy Passover to all who celebrate!!

nance24 said...

ditto, ditto, ditto.....where can I watch Hollyoaks? I've heard of it.

sonya said...

CarJax sex today!!!!!!!!!!! CARJAX SEX TODAY YAY!!! Karen you gotta see it!!! It was glorious!!!! :) Full comments about the show later. :)

LSV422 said...

Great comments and great SS. I get weary of trying to accept this mess of a show. AMC GH, I feel the same way about Friz. I can't stand to even see Franco near the lovely Liz. She deserves better. The painting he did didn't even resemble her and is so different from his style from when he was really an artist. I wish we could have seen Anna actually remember everything with Val or did I miss that? Happy Passover from me, too! The Yankee game today was much better than GH, but I will try to watch later.
LindaV

Di said...

LindaV said...I can't stand to even see Franco near the lovely Liz.

** I feel the same way but as long as Frank and Varni allow certain actors on the show to call the shots it doesn't matter what any of us want. Their favorites take prcedent over our wishes, the other actors, and the show's history.

And how many times can they replay the same stories over and over again?

Happy Passover to all who celebrate.

friscogh said...

For such a big scank, Carly sure has a small bed

sonya said...

Alex's home:

Nathan and Alexis: Nathan what are you still doing in the Chuckles? Go be with your wife!!!

Hoodie man: There is Hoodie man!!!!! He flew in!!! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Central Perk:

Michael and Krissy: Krissy is going to night school!?!?! Awesome! Mikey forget Nelle! Stop talking about her! :( Krissy are you and Amy BFF's who live together?!

Nathan and Krissy: Hmmm have they ever had a scene together? Go be with your wife Nathan!

Sonny's home:

Sonny and Nelle: YAY! The truth is out! :) Nelle and her crocodile tears.

Michael and Nelle: Nelle wins the line of the day.

Nelle: I didn't want to sleep with Sonny. I figured it would be more decent if I drugged him and made him think that we did.

What?!!?! BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Paint and Wall's home:

Paint and Wall: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Liz with Paint and wall: GO LIZ GO!!! Yeah good question! Why is Sam in the equation when BobTodd can't be?! WOOT WOOT! :)

Alexis and Sam: A picture of Hoodie man!!!!!!! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

BobTodd's art gallery:

BobTodd and Jake: Jake broke my heart! :(

BobTodd and Jason: Oh shut up Jason!!! Get off your high horse!

Friz: Awwwwww. :)

Carly's home:

CarJax: CARJAX SEX!!!!! Karen you love CarJax! Did you watch their sex scene yet? SO HAWT!

Carson: Oh please Sonny! Look down at the 2 glasses! Look at her robe! Look at the after sex glow!!! :)

Nelle: I didn't want to sleep with Sonny. I figured it would be more decent if I drugged him and made him think that we did.

BAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I will NEVER forget that line!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

sonya said...

"friscogh said...For such a big scank, Carly sure has a small bed"

ROFL! Maybe Carly likes small beds! :)

K said...

LSV422 said...

I wish we could have seen Anna actually remember everything with Val or did I miss that?

** You didn't. All that was shown was her showing up in Spoon Island, VC let her into Wyndemere, and told him that she had been away, because she had Robert talk to the WSB's expert when it comes to memory issues, to be able to see her, so she figure out why she couldn't remember anything from around that time, hardly . She then explains that Faison had played around with her memories/things that she had done in the past, particularly during the time when she had been a double agent and selling stuff to the DVX. As for how it relates to her connection to VC, Faison got her to get him to give her classified material to sell to the DVX. After this occured, there was a meeting with Anna and VC in Spain, she had been given the kill order to take VC out, due to the material. At the meet, she took him to a hotel, and they slept together. The next morning while she was in an long shower, VC had discovered the message about the kill order (which she left for him to see, so he would have time to get away, and she wouldn't have to kill him, so she didn't get out of the shower, until long after he had taken off.) He didn't know she left the paper there intentionally so he could get away. After telling him everything, and it started to sink in with him, that was when we saw the shot of her taking is hand, and zooming in on the ring (which has no hidden meaning at all). She then told him that she does care about him, not romantically. And she felt absolutely horrible about everything. After watching her go through all of that with him, and then her reactions when she hugged Griffin later, I really don't think it's Alex, instead of Anna. To me, what I saw was just someone who went "through the wringer" both mentally, and emotionally. And is just sickened by what happened and how she treated VC. She wasn't acting at all like Alex did on AMC.

K

K said...

sonya said...

Sonny's home:

Nelle: I didn't want to sleep with Sonny. I figured it would be more decent if I drugged him and made him think that we did.

What?!!?! BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

** Yeah, I'm just at a loss for words, for that. (Considering how much I tend to ramble on, that's scary)

Carly's home:

CarJax: CARJAX SEX!!!!! Karen you love CarJax! Did you watch their sex scene yet? SO HAWT!

** BEST part of the day!!

K

friscogh said...

Did anyone else notice when Bobbie visited Carly the other day she took her shoes off? Always bothered me that people in soaps leave their shoes on at home.

Michelle Latta said...

I leave mine on, unless the person asks for me to take them off.

Michelle Latta said...

I've always been a Jason fan but he went way too far yesterday! Franco did the right thing and is trying and Jason is being a real jerk!

K said...

Michelle Latta said...

I've always been a Jason fan but he went way too far yesterday! Franco did the right thing and is trying and Jason is being a real jerk!

** I liked Jason Q. I never cared for Jason M. though. Which is why I was really excited and thrilled when Billy Miller came on and took over the role. He is a great actor, and when he was still "Jake Doe", I could see bits and pieces of Jason Q. starting to resurface. Particularly reconnecting with the Qs (And instinctually feeling that being around them felt "right") Not to mention wanting nothing at all to do with criminals. And generally just being a much nicer person. Then, IMMEDIATELY after he started getting his Jason M memories back, it was as if a switch got flipped in his head, and has gotten more and more worse, as time has gone on. And you're absolutely right, that he went way too far. Franco has pretty much bent over backwards trying to do what he can to help Jake, including stepping BACK from Liz and him, just to make Jason happy.

K