Thursday, December 23, 2010

30 New Year Predictions for General Hospital --2011 edition



What will the New Year bring to GH? I consulted with my Guza Magic 8 Ball and found these answers:

1.  Someone will be in danger, possibly a female
2.  The phrase "The Balkan" will be said aprox. 3,400 times in the month of January alone
3.  Someone might be pregnant, probably a female
4.  Sonny will throw at least one piece of bar ware during the spring months
5.  Dante's first day off will not be until 2012
6.  Explosives will be used
7.  The docks will have tulips in the spring
8.  Guns will make an appearance
9.  If the budget allows, "Mad World" will be played at least once during Franco's return
10. Monica will not be mentioned
11. Someone will be kidnapped, possibly a female or a child
12. The Haunted Star will be host to about 3 customers that aren't "regulars" but they won't talk
13. Spinelli will use the words "glorious manifestation" before September
14. Dante will eat 2 lasagnas and one meatball sub
15. Mac will NOT catch the bad guy.
16. The bubble lamp will be used 22 times
17. Franco will be obsessed by "THE FACE"
18. Dante will be obsessed by 'THE FACE" 
19. Spinelli wil be obsessed by "THE FACE"
20. Laura may or may not return, but we'll talk about it anyway. 
21. Lisa will inject Patrick with a "love drug" and he won't remember their night together
22. Carly will yell at someone at least once weekly
23. At least 4-5 different accents will be used, most not understood
24. Jason might remember he has a son.....might. 
25. Lucky might find out he has a son...might
26. Helena might come back...might 
27. Valentin will not come at all...that we know of
28. Brenda's sleeves will grow so long, they'll harbor kittens
29. Lucky will not shave


and 30. At least once a month, something will happen that will "Change Everything" !! 

most used words month of January: Bus Crash, Balkan 
most used words month of February:  "my wedding," Franco, Fronkey
most used words month of March: BOOM, traitor
most used words month of April: Russia , loyalty
most used words month of May: objection, cigar
most used words month of June: No, cabin
most used words month of July: Milan, firebomb
most used words month of August: foreshadow, hospital
most used words month of September: school, "my son"
most used words month of October: gun, missing
most used words month of November: feta, malfunction
most used words month of December: innocent, betray

There may be more predictions coming, depending on Guza's mind melding with Gedstern. It does happen. What do YOU predict?!

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

jason, sonny and jax obsessed with the face.

lishalu615 said...

LOL I love number 3..."someone might be pregnant, probably a female." Oh, you crack me up!

kdmask said...

:) thanks!! LOL

Leesy said...

GRACIOUS GOOD MORROW TO YOU WUBULOUS WUB QUEEN! I believe you've summed up GH quite succinctly and with grand aplomb! I personally have donned my Robe of Fortune and have devined that SPINELLI FINDS TRUE LOVE IN 2011! A woman with brains and sweetness and appreciation for someone with the same bend of mind.....someone like GEORGIE! get it Guza??? And with that I wish you all the merriest of holiday seasons and a fruitful and joyous new year!

with love, Lady Lee, GH Mystic Extrordinaire! lolol...love the list!!!

sonya said...

3. Someone might be pregnant, probably a female
========================
ROFL! Probably a female? Is there a possibility that a man can be pregnant? ROFL!

28. Brenda's sleeves will grow so long, they'll harbor kittens
=========================
ROFL! I don't have a problem with her sleeves being so long. I actually like it. :)

Frank Strovel III said...

Love it! You can just fill in the blanks: "Someone will ____. Possibly a female."

Anonymous said...

My GH Predictions
1) GH's name will be changed too, General sonny and all my kids.
2)Another kid of sonny's will show up. Who's will it be from, Brenda, Claire, Maxie, Lulu, Jasons? ETC?
3) Bobbie will show up once a year looking for Luke and vanish again.
4)Ethan, and Johnny realize they have feelings for each other. Michael comes in between them.
5)Spinelli's is Jason's son.
6)Bobbie is the really the balkan,cause everyone has forgotten her.
7)Leslie, Monica And Mike come out of the closet and have a triangle.
8)Robert and Anna come back and have a dvx and wsb Adventure with Robin,and Patrick. Maybe Holly will be involved.
9) Mac and Alexis will get married.
10) Laura returns to marry Luke, with another big wedding, and Luke and Laura ride off in the sunset and live happily ever after.
Sorry this post is so long. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Karen. Love your site. Your hilarious.

Anonymous said...

jasam running around in black leather, stilettos,guns each carrying a backpack with a baby in it. saying this is not too dangerous.

Anonymous said...

I predict I won't be watching GH very much this year!

Anonymous said...

I predict that unless there is a change in writers/head honchos that this show will plummet to new depths of crappiness. And the ratings will continue to go

down....

down....

down....

Sadly, there will be no one left to care.

Frisco said...

I like your list! Here is my 30:
1. Johnny will be shot. Liz nurses him back to health. TV screens steam up
2. Maxie will have a crazy haircut
3. Kate will ask Clinton and Stacey from What Not To Wear to make over Coleman but when they meet Ethan they will fear they have meet their greatest challenge yet
4. Jocelyn will finger paint all over Carly and Jax’s pristine white walls. Carly freaks out when she realizes Jocelyn has started painting CO77X
5. Jerry will leave town before visiting Bobbie or Alexis
6. Michael discovers Sonny owns the strip club where Abby works
7. It will be revealed that Audrey has been running the hospital daycare for all these years
8. The brownstone will catch fire, be bombed or hit by a tornado...fortunately no one is hurt as it has not been occupied for years
9. Sonny buys a dress...and starts wearing them himself
10. GH continues to push the risqué envelope with the Lante sex scenes. GH makes national news for being the first soap to show a naked bum (Dante).
11. Big Alice starts wearing blonde Farrah Fawcett wigs
12. Lulu becomes pregnant...Sonny is mad he didn’t get to “tap that” first
13. Brooklyn is the innocent victim of a mob shoot-out. Mac, Mayor Floyd et al wave the white flag and admit they will never be able to stop the mob. Tracy reaches back to her “City” days, takes matters into her own hands and puts an end to the mob. She is elected Mayor
14. After Brooklyn dies Nicholas becomes moody and tries to seduce Dante
15. As part of his legal case against the hospital Theo discovers the medical closet being used for quickies...cites it is evidence of the hospital being unsanitary
16. Edward adopts a puppy. Guza kills the puppy claiming there are too many Quartermaines already
17. Milo hooks up with Olivia. Milo becomes grossly obese from all the lasagnas. Allison Sweeney makes a guest appearance to ask Milo to appear on the “Biggest Loser”
18. Steve is diagnosed with a rare skin disease called oompaloompaism that causes his skin to turn orange
19. Liz re-opens her art studio. Jason visits. They argue over whether black is a real color
20. Mac starts dating Olivia. Molly plots evil revenge on behalf of her mother. Ric and Sonny are proud
21. Michael’s inner Q business sense emerges...he opens a leather shop and makes Jason and Sam pay full price
22. Skye Quartermaine is revealed as the real Balkan
23. Emma does not see either of her grandparents all year long
24. Olivia, Sonny and Max have a spaghetti and meatballs cook-off. Diane declares that Max has the biggest and best balls. Sonny throws something
25. Jason and a pregnant Sam move into Carly’s old house to give the new baby a house with a yard. Jason builds a treehouse in the backyard for Spinelli to live in
26. Sam has a wardrobe malfunction
27. Someone will go to Mexico...the investment in those paper maches cactus’s was too great not to use them again
28. Kristina becomes pregnant. Alexis is mortified. Sonny is mad. Molly thinks teen pregnancy is romantic. Helena stakes claims to the bastard Cassadine heir
29. Matt, Mike and Morgan start a support group for people who are constantly forgotten by their family and friends
30. Epiphany takes to the mike during karoke night at Jakes. It is revealed that she is Aretha Franklin’s cousin

Frisco said...

I like your list! Here is my 30:
1. Johnny will be shot. Liz nurses him back to health. TV screens steam up
2. Maxie will have a crazy haircut
3. Kate will ask Clinton and Stacey from What Not To Wear to make over Coleman but when they meet Ethan they will fear they have meet their greatest challenge yet
4. Jocelyn will finger paint all over Carly and Jax’s pristine white walls. Carly freaks out when she realizes Jocelyn has started painting CO77X
5. Jerry will leave town before visiting Bobbie or Alexis
6. Michael discovers Sonny owns the strip club where Abby works
7. It will be revealed that Audrey has been running the hospital daycare for all these years
8. The brownstone will catch fire, be bombed or hit by a tornado...fortunately no one is hurt as it has not been occupied for years
9. Sonny buys a dress...and starts wearing them himself
10. GH continues to push the risqué envelope with the Lante sex scenes. GH makes national news for being the first soap to show a naked bum (Dante).
11. Big Alice starts wearing blonde Farrah Fawcett wigs
12. Lulu becomes pregnant...Sonny is mad he didn’t get to “tap that” first
13. Brooklyn is the innocent victim of a mob shoot-out. Mac, Mayor Floyd et al wave the white flag and admit they will never be able to stop the mob. Tracy reaches back to her “City” days, takes matters into her own hands and puts an end to the mob. She is elected Mayor
14. After Brooklyn dies Nicholas becomes moody and tries to seduce Dante
15. As part of his legal case against the hospital Theo discovers the medical closet being used for quickies...cites it is evidence of the hospital being unsanitary
16. Edward adopts a puppy. Guza kills the puppy claiming there are too many Quartermaines already
17. Milo hooks up with Olivia. Milo becomes grossly obese from all the lasagnas. Allison Sweeney makes a guest appearance to ask Milo to appear on the “Biggest Loser”
18. Steve is diagnosed with a rare skin disease called oompaloompaism that causes his skin to turn orange
19. Liz re-opens her art studio. Jason visits. They argue over whether black is a real color
20. Mac starts dating Olivia. Molly plots evil revenge on behalf of her mother. Ric and Sonny are proud
21. Michael’s inner Q business sense emerges...he opens a leather shop and makes Jason and Sam pay full price
22. Skye Quartermaine is revealed as the real Balkan
23. Emma does not see either of her grandparents all year long
24. Olivia, Sonny and Max have a spaghetti and meatballs cook-off. Diane declares that Max has the biggest and best balls. Sonny throws something
25. Jason and a pregnant Sam move into Carly’s old house to give the new baby a house with a yard. Jason builds a treehouse in the backyard for Spinelli to live in
26. Sam has a wardrobe malfunction
27. Someone will go to Mexico...the investment in those paper maches cactus’s was too great not to use them again
28. Kristina becomes pregnant. Alexis is mortified. Sonny is mad. Molly thinks teen pregnancy is romantic. Helena stakes claims to the bastard Cassadine heir
29. Matt, Mike and Morgan start a support group for people who are constantly forgotten by their family and friends
30. Epiphany takes to the mike during karoke night at Jakes. It is revealed that she is Aretha Franklin’s cousin

Anonymous said...

Is there a behind-the-scenes statement/reason as to why Jacklyn Zeman is no longer on the show? I know she was dropped to recurring status. But is her obsession with plastic surgery the reason she is off the show? Or did something happen between her and the brass?

kdmask said...

FRISCO...thanks love the 30...love all of your answers!! LOL

"I predict I won't be watching GH" lol

as for Jackie Z-- I have no clue, never heard of anything going 'on' -- and god knows Hunter Tylo still works with HER face.

Anonymous said...

My Predictions?

The cast of GH will be down to a "core" 8-9 in the opening credits. Everyone else will be moved to recurring status.

A behind-the-scenes book will be written about the daytime soaps. Similar to Primary Colors, the author will not be known and the characters in the book will be thinly veiled and have Hollywood guessing as to who is who in daytime. This will be an actor who has been on soaps on several networks.

Ratings will continue to plummet across the board. Actor crossovers will happen on a more regular basis. Especially actors who are on recurring status as they will be available.

THANKS for this topic Karen!

from, the "other" dave

dreamings86 said...

1. Sonny and Brenda and Carly and Jax break up. Jax and Brenda get together, and to get back at Jax, Carly sleeps with Sonny, and she ends up pregnant.
2. Morgan, Molly, Cameron, and Jake will all be teenagers. Jocelyn will be 10. Spencer, who will also be a teenager, will be sent to a boarding school in Europe.
3. Franco will come out of the closet and declare his undying love for Jason, who tries to push him into the harbor.
4. Sam miraculously has a baby, and Jason will vacillate between sending her away and buying baby leather jackets. The fact that Jake is his son will never be mentioned.
5. A former cast member will come back either as their original character after there have been a dozen different actors playing that character or as a completely different character with vague ties to Sonny.
6. The Quartermaine mansion will burn down and they'll have to move onto the Haunted Star.
7. A new mob family will be introduced and Johnny will start to work for them.
8. Dante will quit to PCPD and start working for Sonny.
9. Luke will be in a approximately 50 episodes--he'll take Tracy on a grand honeymoon that we won't get to see. She'll come home alone because Luke found a new adventure. When he gets back to town, Tracy won't let him in the house, and Alice will slip him in through what once was the rose garden.
10. Claire will come back from Alaska--she'll either be pregnant or will have a baby with her.

dreamings86 said...

11. Mac will show up once a month, and each time it is either to yell at Patrick or because Robin, Maxie, Kristina, and Molly concoct a plan to get him together will Alexis.
12. No one will mention Valentine's Day, the Fourth of July, Halloween, Christmas, or New Years--Thanksgiving will be used only as a way to get Mac and Alexis to spend some time together.
13. There will be repeats (of the poison sphere crisis and/or Franco's first reign of boredom) on Valentine's Day, Good Friday (people travel for Easter too), Memorial Day, Arbor Day (if the network can figure out what day that is), Columbus Day, Halloween, Veteran's Day, Pearl Harbor Day, the Immaculate Conception/the Anniversary of John Lennon's death, 3 days surrounding Christmas, and 3 days surrounding New Year's.
14. Robin and Patrick will get back together, but someone Robin knew when she lived in Paris will come to town and she will sleep with him.
15. Maxie's health will be in danger and she will miraculously receive a 3rd heart transplant--Felicia won't show up.
16. Liz will sleep with either: Johnny, Patrick, and Sonny, and she will end up pregnant. Who's the daddy storyline will commence.
17. Sioban will be outed as an agent of the Balkan, and Lucky will be on the verge of falling off the wagon when he is sent to France to protect a girl named Sabine, whom he will fall in love with, from the Balkan. Bad accents will abound.
18. Sonny will learn that he either has another son or another sibling (or a son with a sibling that he didn't know he had--incest PSA's will air).
19. Brooklyn will suddenly become attracted to Sonny, who sleeps with her despite his connection to her mother.
20. The hospital will blow up in the middle of an outbreak of the Plague, causing the CDC to quarantine all of western New York.
21. Sonny will go on trial for something, but he won't be convicted.
22. The police will do their impressions of the Keystone Cops.
23. The Guzameister Meisterguza will outlaw happiness, love, and laughter. No one will notice as this has gradually been happening over the last decade.
24. 5 new characters will pop up on the canvas; two Quartermaines will go in the storage closet.
25. The storage closet will become a storage room as more and more characters get sent there.
26. Nikolas will go completely Cassadine...and completely off the screen.
27. Monica will be paged at the hospital, but she will never be seen.
28. Audrey will be mentioned, but won't be seen.
29. Johnny will try to kill Sonny, but won't succeed.
30. The Title will be changed to the Sopranoz.

dreamings86 said...

11. Mac will show up once a month, and each time it is either to yell at Patrick or because Robin, Maxie, Kristina, and Molly concoct a plan to get him together will Alexis.
12. No one will mention Valentine's Day, the Fourth of July, Halloween, Christmas, or New Years--Thanksgiving will be used only as a way to get Mac and Alexis to spend some time together.
13. There will be repeats (of the poison sphere crisis and/or Franco's first reign of boredom) on Valentine's Day, Good Friday (people travel for Easter too), Memorial Day, Arbor Day (if the network can figure out what day that is), Columbus Day, Halloween, Veteran's Day, Pearl Harbor Day, the Immaculate Conception/the Anniversary of John Lennon's death, 3 days surrounding Christmas, and 3 days surrounding New Year's.
14. Robin and Patrick will get back together, but someone Robin knew when she lived in Paris will come to town and she will sleep with him.
15. Maxie's health will be in danger and she will miraculously receive a 3rd heart transplant--Felicia won't show up.
16. Liz will sleep with either: Johnny, Patrick, and Sonny, and she will end up pregnant. Who's the daddy storyline will commence.
17. Sioban will be outed as an agent of the Balkan, and Lucky will be on the verge of falling off the wagon when he is sent to France to protect a girl named Sabine, whom he will fall in love with, from the Balkan. Bad accents will abound.
18. Sonny will learn that he either has another son or another sibling (or a son with a sibling that he didn't know he had--incest PSA's will air).
19. Brooklyn will suddenly become attracted to Sonny, who sleeps with her despite his connection to her mother.
20. The hospital will blow up in the middle of an outbreak of the Plague, causing the CDC to quarantine all of western New York.
21. Sonny will go on trial for something, but he won't be convicted.
22. The police will do their impressions of the Keystone Cops.
23. The Guzameister Meisterguza will outlaw happiness, love, and laughter. No one will notice as this has gradually been happening over the last decade.
24. 5 new characters will pop up on the canvas; two Quartermaines will go in the storage closet.
25. The storage closet will become a storage room as more and more characters get sent there.
26. Nikolas will go completely Cassadine...and completely off the screen.
27. Monica will be paged at the hospital, but she will never be seen.
28. Audrey will be mentioned, but won't be seen.
29. Johnny will try to kill Sonny, but won't succeed.
30. The Title will be changed to the Sopranoz.

dreamings86 said...

11. Mac will show up once a month, and each time it is either to yell at Patrick or because Robin, Maxie, Kristina, and Molly concoct a plan to get him together will Alexis.
12. No one will mention Valentine's Day, the Fourth of July, Halloween, Christmas, or New Years--Thanksgiving will be used only as a way to get Mac and Alexis to spend some time together.
13. There will be repeats (of the poison sphere crisis and/or Franco's first reign of boredom) on Valentine's Day, Good Friday (people travel for Easter too), Memorial Day, Arbor Day (if the network can figure out what day that is), Columbus Day, Halloween, Veteran's Day, Pearl Harbor Day, the Immaculate Conception/the Anniversary of John Lennon's death, 3 days surrounding Christmas, and 3 days surrounding New Year's.
14. Robin and Patrick will get back together, but someone Robin knew when she lived in Paris will come to town and she will sleep with him.
15. Maxie's health will be in danger and she will miraculously receive a 3rd heart transplant--Felicia won't show up.
16. Liz will sleep with either: Johnny, Patrick, and Sonny, and she will end up pregnant. Who's the daddy storyline will commence.
17. Sioban will be outed as an agent of the Balkan, and Lucky will be on the verge of falling off the wagon when he is sent to France to protect a girl named Sabine, whom he will fall in love with, from the Balkan. Bad accents will abound.
18. Sonny will learn that he either has another son or another sibling (or a son with a sibling that he didn't know he had--incest PSA's will air).
19. Brooklyn will suddenly become attracted to Sonny, who sleeps with her despite his connection to her mother.

dreamings86 said...

20. The hospital will blow up in the middle of an outbreak of the Plague, causing the CDC to quarantine all of western New York.
21. Sonny will go on trial for something, but he won't be convicted.
22. The police will do their impressions of the Keystone Cops.
23. The Guzameister Meisterguza will outlaw happiness, love, and laughter. No one will notice as this has gradually been happening over the last decade.
24. 5 new characters will pop up on the canvas; two Quartermaines will go in the storage closet.
25. The storage closet will become a storage room as more and more characters get sent there.
26. Nikolas will go completely Cassadine...and completely off the screen.
27. Monica will be paged at the hospital, but she will never be seen.
28. Audrey will be mentioned, but won't be seen.
29. Johnny will try to kill Sonny, but won't succeed.
30. The Title will be changed to the Sopranoz.

dreamings86 said...

sorry for the multiple posts. it kept telling me it was too large to post.

Anonymous said...

No one liked my 10 predictions up above wow.

AntJoan said...

Anonymous: I liked your predictions, and everyone elses's, very creative, Guza, are you listening?

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas/Happy New Year everyone: For the past few years, I always put in my New Years wishes for GH, but I don't care enough to do it this year, so I will respond to others...

Johnny and Liz? I think I may like this! I wish they would quit making her the doormat for all the guys and the better not make her the next busy body Amy Vining (that was Laura's sisters name, right?)
I am already bored with trying to pair Liz with her two main men.

Sam and Jason can do whatever they want from now on as long as my ff button work. BUT, if Jake is reveiled to not be Liz's, I will have to apologize to Karen because I will get rid of anything GH!!
But, if you start a site dedicated to OLTL, I will be ALL over that!

Great responses from everyone. I cracked up.

Here's to a better than ever GH for the new year, so I can keep watching!!

Andrea