Sunday, July 5, 2020

Just a 2020 WUB






 Charlie's Bar... 

Julian:  We open at 5pm and I have masks for everyone right here... 
Krissy: Um, I'm not wearing this. 
Julian: Why? 
Krissy: It literally says "Maple Syrup saves Lives" 
Julian: SO? 
Ava: Julian.. you know it's bleach now... (sips martini) or..maybe Lysol. I'm not sure. 
Julian: Ava, put your mask on
Ava: All right, All right.. here. See? It's a Franco original.
Julian:  (squints) wait..is that the Leftist sign for...
Ava: Sure is! 
Door opens
Alexis: (rushes in) OMG you don't have one of these in YOUR WINDOW AND I DEMAND IT NOW! (waves paper)
Ava: Um, Alexis, is that a gas mask??
Alexis: Can't be too careful! SO WHAT'S THE DEAL JULIAN, DON'T YOU CARE? Black Lives MATTER! GET IT UP in this PUB!!
Julian:  I have one right on the door! Along with a pride flag...and a trans flag! 
Alexis: WELL IT'S NOT BIG ENOUGH 
Ava: That's what SHE said... 
Krissy: Oh My GOD Mom.. do you really need "I'll kill your redneck ass" shirt on? 
Alexis: Damn straight. Idiots. Oh wait, speaking of...
Jax: G'Day! 
Julian: Hey, put a mask on, pal. 
Jax: No, I don't think so, it's my right not to wear one. 
Ava: (looks him up and down) are you even an American? 
Jax: Doesn't matter, it's pointless anyway... they don't work.. 
Alexis: (gets out her phone) OH I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU ALLLLLL THE DATA! 
Jax: Look, I don't want any trouble.. just wondered if I could sell these here..
Julian: (takes box)..wait a minute..
Krissy: Um.. (holds up a tropical print) These are..MASKS. 
Jax:  That's right! Big sellers right now.. how many boxes you want?
Julian: GET OUT! 
Door Opens 
Sonny: Don't let that hit you in the ass, Candy-Boy 
Julian: Oh what the hell.. Sonny, it's my first day open, I don't need you around here being  pain
Alexis: Is your mask Al Pacino's face? 
Sonny: One and ONLY!  Listen, Julian...I need somethin' 
Ava: Hi Sonny... 
Sonny: Shut up, Ava... Julian I can't get your coffee this week because our imports are being strangled by customs..
Julian: So what? 
Sonny: I want my money anyway because Carly and I are going to Bezo's house next week and I need cash. 
Julian: They shut down your island? 
Sonny; NO COMMENT ON DAT! 
Alexis: yeah, I saw some arrests come out...need a lawyer? 
Sonny: Just get my dough ready, Jerome, I'll be back. 
Ava: EESH, you know he's up to his eyeballs in that situation.... 
Sonny: I'm in the process of getting ventilators for the hospital and literally saving this town so you know...
Everyone: Yeah, you'll be featured in 90% of the shows coming up... 
Jason walks in...Stares.
Julian: Um...Sonny, your dog is here
Jason: Blink Stare
Sonny: Wha ?? 
Jason: We got a situation... 
Sonny: And? 
Jason: Carly is freaking out because Mayor Webber is going to paint "Black Lives Matter" on the street in front of the hotel. 
Sonny: (eyeroll) Seriously? 
Alexis: HOW WONDERFUL!! 
Sonny: Is it bad? 
Jason: She's eating all the cake she can get her hands on..
Sonny: Let's go... 
Lucas: (walks in, drunk) HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!! How ya doin? My husband is in jail.. I have nothing and I think I got COVID from a patient yesterday...
Ava: Um, you think we should tell him it's July? 
Julian: OUT! GET OUT!! Kristina, wipe down the door and  where his feet have been!! 




Meanwhile...at General Hospital: 

Liz: (on phone) Well, we have the patients comfortable and things are pretty quiet, Gran..thanks for taking care of the boys for months and doing their Zoom schooling. Where would I be without you?? 
Felix: I'm tired, girl.. I've been here three weeks straight. I get called in to do the Nurses Ball and welp..here I am. 
Liz: It's awful they aren't having it this year.
Lucy: You bet your bottom it's awful! 
Liz: Lucy! What are you doing here? Personnel only! 
Lucy: Oh, that doesn't apply to me, silly.. 
Felix: Um, yes, it does...it really does. 
Lucy: Oh you're just joking... that sore throat I had yesterday is completely gone! 
Liz: You're going to need to come with us... 
Finn: (comes around corner, holding 2 swabs) Already ON IT! 
Lucy: (runs) 




At the Corinthos: 

Trina: (watching her phone) Oh my God, but Claudia Conway is hysterical... 
Dev: I don't think that's appropriate content for us to be viewing! 
Joss: :eyeroll: Oh, Dev, go watch Hamilton again.. 
Dev: Yes, it is now on Disney Plus and is my ticket to learning about American history..thanks Josslyn, daughter of Sonny. 
Cam: What do you have to eat around here? 
Joss: I don't know, mom always has Cheetos in the pantry..
Trina and Cam catch each other's eyes... laugh..
Joss: What's so funny???
Cam: Oh, nothing... laughs harder
Trina: Well, we decided your mom is the biggest KAREN in town!! 
Joss: Oh HA HA... don't you think I don't know that!!? Oh my GOD...
Trina: What??
Joss: LOOK! (shows her phone)
Trina: Girl, I'm going to just faint. 
Cam: What.. I um.. Kanye is running for president? What!!? This can't be true
Joss: But it is, Cam.. 
Dev (pops back in) Does that mean I can cast my vote for The Yezzy in November? 




At the Quartermaines: 

Ned: Oh, the stock market is looking fine! Just fine... 
Michael: Of course it is, we are on the right track! I'm feeling pretty good about my haircut and all that investment in the Hydrocholorquinine... 
Olivia: You believe in that hooey? 
Michael: Doesn't matter, we made 5 million on it just in the last.. um.. (looks at Apple Watch) 20 minutes. 
Olivia: (eyes narrow) Look, I'm hungry, anyone want to order from The Rib? 
Ned: Where's Cook 2? 
Olivia: Oh, she got those brain amoebas last week, she's at GH 
Ned: Well, ok, but don't use Grub Hub, they are the worst. 
Willow: Hey... I just got in from outside and... there is something really wrong in the rose garden. 
Olivia: Lila's roses! What about them? 
Willow: I don't know but I saw some really big hornets out there. Like the size of my thumb!




8 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This was great. I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Awww the picture of the Tribbles/Moss!! Someone on the cast or crew better be taking care of them!!!! If not, they will die, and no more Tribbles/Moss. :( Maybe the child of Tribbles/Moss can take over. :)

    "Julian: Hey, put a mask on, pal.
    Jax: No, I don't think so, it's my right not to wear one."

    Hahaha yeah I don't see Jax saying that. He isn't the type. Krissy is the type to say that. :)

    "Ava: Hi Sonny...
    Sonny: Shut up, Ava... '

    ROFL!

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  2. This was hilarious! Well done Wubsie!!

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  3. I think Sonny and Kristina wouldn't wear a mask

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  4. You are hired as the new writer. SO FUNNY

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  5. Dylan Cash (young red haired Michael) was replaced by an older actor, Drew Garrett when the younger Michael was put in a coma after taking a bullet meant for Sonny.Drew Garrett was replaced a year later by Chad Duell. There is a hilariously funny video on youtube about the reason why this happened. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2aOi0TpVC8

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  6. LOL. Lots of thought went into this. Very clever. Wish you were a GH writer.

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  7. Hilarious.....thanks for the chuckles :-)

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  8. This was fabulous, I'm still laughing! Thanks!

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