Sunday, May 31, 2015

Sunday Surgery: Doublemint Twins

This week was a long, strange trip when it came to GH.  You all know my feelings about yet ANOTHER damn "Look Alike" story. It didn't disappoint me; I was totally frustrated 100% of the time.  

Let me remind you of what we've had in the past few years:

Everyone thought it was Duke but it was Faison in a mask, pretending to be Duke 

Some people thought Anna was Anna until Lesil pulled her face off. 

Everyone thought Luke was Luke but he was really Fluke...who actually WAS Luke...just with a mental disorder thinking he was Fluke 

Kate thought she was Connie after stressing and although people thought they knew Connie from Kate you never could be sure

Everyone thinks Jake is Jake but he's really Jason because of a car accident and amnesia. And although a few people do know he's really Jason they aren't telling. .

Now Everyone thinks Ava is playing Denise but her DNA says she's not Ava...but she really IS Ava because no one knows about her bone marrow transplant.  

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Breakfast today will be Doublemint Gum in homage to the double-Ava/Denise/Flava story which will take up most of this blog.  Because, well, it took up most of the show! 

BTW...Duke's Urn up there should have been in his tartan clan colors. 

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What, ain't  ya nevah seen a bad wig befoah? 

Another face..another person not looking like themselves  or hiding that fact. 
Dual Personality
Plastic Surgery NuFaces
and now..a crummy wig and a bone marrow transplant.  PLUS a bonus "back from the dead story"! Too bad she's not pregnant with another WTD baby then I could go really insane.

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What..I AM crying, can't you tell? 

Where do I begin? First of all, don't come at me with "this is a soap" and it's hilarious. Sorry. It's not. It may have been fun eons ago before it had been done to death but now? Lame. I'm so reminded of Janet/Natalie. Like a cheap black wig would make us go: Ooooooooo it's a twin!(At least it WAS a twin in that case.) If I had a dime for every time a wig and or glasses were plopped on a head on soaps to denote a 'difference' I'd retire to somewhere warm. 
I know actresses love the challenge of playing someone 'else'. Maura West will do a fine job. But why  must I sit through this mess? 

Is it funny she's a snappy gal from Queens? Nope.
Denise that a riot? Nope
Is it funny that she just "showed up" at Julian's because she "looked like a dead broad in the paper"? Nope. 
Is it funny because she chews gum? Nope
Is it funny she called Morgan dumb? Well...yes :) heh

And not for nothing...but since the entire "right to die" story was so isolated and not meaningful, maybe her waking up would have been? Are we going to see those scenes in "flashback" because it happened off camera? Where's Silas? Will that too be explained because everything happened "off camera"?
I also see no one is really that into finding out where Avery went. 

20150527 0725(31) she really?
Yeah, she's really....
I have SO many places I need to be besides here, in this scene

Poor Alexis is not only accepting Julian's "I'm out of the mob" sheeze, she actually said yes to him representing this person! ahahaa. :Gaffaw: Poor Alexis. The only saving grace of the scene where Flava came into the apartment were the reactions of Sam and Alexis. I swear those faces were totally Kelly and Nancy going WTF is this!!?? 

I've had people in the past criticize me for not 'giving the story time'.  I'm also trying to think of one story in the past year that panned out and was poignant and made sense. Nope.  Even the Luke story went on so long and was so convoluted I had to give it a C+. Even WITH the brilliant Black and White eppy, it was just hollow.  Now we are living through Jake/Jason.
Just think: By the time all that comes out,  maybe this Denise Ava extravaganza will be done too.
That just exhausts me. 

Ya see, I tawt Denise everything she knows...

I'm also bringing up the Connie/Kate mess as well. Since the personality thing was done again with Fluke--it's now sort of morphed now into the Ava story. Connie was the gum chewing brassy broad that wore animal prints! :giggle:  Poor Sonny seeing Flava and being  all: THIS SHIT AGAIN? Maurice can just dig out old scripts to see how he's supposed to react to this. At least he was smart and asked to see the bullet wound. 

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Gorgeous, Ain't it? 
The worst tattoo ever appeared...which Flava explains was done to cover up a scar she got after she tried to remove her last boyfriend's name (BOBO) from her body. 
Ok, then! On to the DNA test. Lucas had it TRIPLE run..good thinking (although I would have had one done at Mercy, one sent to a lab and on at GH know me, details). It wasn't Ava! BUT! It was someone in the immediate family.
Why WHO COULD IT be??? WHO??

Enter Delia. 
(Who happens to know this is all going down at the PCPD at this exact movement.) She's going to say she had twins and gave one up, right? 
So..the question will remain: Will anyone actually check Denise's back story? You know, her house in Queens? Make her give up some tax returns for the past 20 years? What? What will be her excuse to keep staying in Port Charles? 

I know, it's a soap.
Shut up, Karen.  

The rest of the show this week:

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I'll pay for dinner, you get the tip
Ric/Nina/Franco: It's the money, stupid.  And why didn't we see Ric's attempts to woo Nina? He must have though of this plan about 3.4 seconds after he was exposed at the Nurses Ball, right? It's not like he wasn't going to marry Liz, right? So--in the span of say 1 day he cooked this up? Okay then.  Nina and Franco stand in that damn room more than any 2 people have stood in one room ever. Well, except when they stood in the cabin together...or the mental hospital.
Ric goes to see Donna Mills. Ah, the pieces start to come together. Although what if Liz had said yes to him?  If this pushes Nina/Michelle into other orbits I'm all for it. When I think about her character since she joined GH and all the times she's been totally apart from everyone else, it maddens me! 

I also hope she sees "Denise" soon as well. Heh. 
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Nikolas: Could be interesting. We shall see. Problem here is he has no one to play off of; there are no other Cassadines to be evil with. Just him, the fireplace and some barware. The entire "Rigging of the election" is rearing it's ugly head again. Like we care anymore! Anna knows it was Nik that did the deed. So..what's next? 

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Valerie/Dante/Lulu:  UGH UGH UGH... and didn't Lulu work at the PCPD for a time too? Now she's "bored" going to talk to Nikolas and Rocco's in daycare? Why is Valerie staying in Port Chuck? It's like she had NO life other than the one now.

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 Weird--all to throw a wrench into Lante? I personally like having ONE stable couple on any soap. Especially one as big as GH. I still think they need to go with a money story and real life issues with those two. Looking at Valerie's pout up there makes me want to turn the channel. For realzzzzz. Lulu should just move into Wyndemere, btw. She's there all the time lately. 

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Come on, BIG day ahead of grabbing donuts and skateboarding 
MoKi: Why..why..WHY? Slackers that do nothing..except have sex, wake up, not take a shower and go to the next place. Kiki didn't move me ONE bit during the "Denise" scenes. I miss Kristen. Yep. I do. 

Why did Becky have to leave when Hayden was so deliciously naughty?  

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Maybe If I loosen my tie she'll notice my manly scent 
Sloane: Quickly worming his way into many stories and I wish he'd just GO AWAY. He's no Bo Buchannan or Robert Scorpio or Mac. (police commissioners) He's fired now by the mayor. Which is basically an OLTL tactic. Anyway, why would the Mayor fire him if he knows all her dirt? Why didn't he say "hey, you can't do that or I'll squeal"? and yet again, I don't get it. Plus he's touching my Anna. 
Stop it. 
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TJ, Buddy, I'm countin' on you to make the BLTs in my absence Sorry about College 

Jordan/Shawn/TJ: If this had been played out on screen, it may have meant something. Again, GH uses it's characters like seasoning and we only saw them a handful of times this year. Now I'm supposed to care? I said it before: Jordan and TJ have interacted so little she doesn't even seem like his mother. Shawn is leaving the show. Of course he's not turning on Sonny! These three were hardly on screen and weren't a real "Family" from the get-go so don't care. And by the way, thanks for letting the TJ/Shawn daddy secret out of the bag when HE'S NOT GOING TO BE ON ANYMORE. 
Nice timing. 

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Yah... I got you an Alex and Ani BFF bracelet..'Kay? 
Jake/St.Jaysus: He doesn't have to work for Sloane or Jules anymore. Liz is happy, Carly's happy. I'm sure Sam will be thrilled when she sees him too. Carly's back to calling him her BFF because you know, "just feels right" 

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Olivia: I realized this week that Ned never got a 'goodbye' scene. Even if he's recast, Wally deserved a more final scene than he got. (which was none). I don't even remember the last time he was on? In the hall with Olivia and Dr. O? I mean..seriously. :throwsuphands: Bye Wally. 

BRIGHT SPOTS: (Yes, I DO have them!!) 
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Lucas and Brad: Yes! This was one of the only things this week that I really liked and was interested in. VERY good writing and I so hope it is timely and continues to build. I wish Bobbie was involved--so hoping she shows up asap. I want to know about Brad's parents-- Asian Quarter Mob or not. He's obviously not telling them he's getting married. Both Perry and Ryan Carnes are great actors and can play the hell out of this. PLEASE don't drop the ball. Give us a great, CONTINUOUS story that involves family and also the joys/stresses of planning a wedding.
Thank you. 
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This needs 2 photos! 

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Franco: I know some of you think he's a useless character. I tend to agree until Roger works his magic in every scene he's in and I forgive all. The Dr. O stuff? Awesome. In Naxie's bedchamber? OMG--too fun. LOVED him oogling Nate's 1/2 naked body. He brings up sleeping with Maxie 'when I was a much different person".  So as long as he circulates more and gets into the Q orbit. I'm fine with all this. I wish he'd exchange his shares to live at the Q mansion and become that art director for the Crimson reboot I dream of all the time. 

PS. Still wondering about the Spinelli/Ellie thing and where Georgie ended up. Is she back in Seattle with them? He still has custody right?  Why can nothing be tied up on this show? Why does it take weeks to do it? Even a minor plot point like that one? 

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SCENE OF THE WEEK:  Dr. O and Franco. I sometimes feel like Todd is going to seek advice from Vicky. Only Lesil loves her some Franco for reals. 

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PROP OF THE WEEK: Dead Egg Salad Sandwich. "Self-Portrait"..."You should hang yourself in a gallery"! 

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FACES OF THE WEEK: These two say it all for me. 

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RUNNER UP: Fine acting right here--I'm serious. I felt all the feels. Just sad they didn't have more airtime when it counted. All three in this story are good actors as well. Could have been a really compelling core story. 

I've given my story ideas in the past-- so I'm not going to bore you with that right now. I suppose Tony's exit from the show will be interesting.  Rumors that Ethan/Lucky might come back intrigue me. Genie's on next week. Tony's back too.
June is very busy for me-- LOL This should have happened May sweeps. I was going to skip for awhile but probably shouldn't now that this is all happening. Must bookend my GH years. 

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Ric, did you bring me the Sephora Eye Pencil I requested? 
We have SO much going on; Wedding, Jake/Jason reveal... the Ric/Nina thing..ELQ takeover and now Luke coming back, we so DON'T need the FAKE FLAVA/Ava story! There is NO reason for it. Just get her off on a technicality like everyone else  so I don't have to sit through the "Babe from Queens" for the entire summer. Please. I'm begging. 

Kudos to the cast this week, they all brought it--no matter what the story was-- because that's how they roll.
June is hella busy for me. So, we'll see if I can manage!!

Have a great day...


MatchboxGinny said...

Nailed it again Karen!

Ron's Swiss Cheese writing..... *siiiiiiighhhhh

friscogh said...

Forget Valerie causing troubles for Lulu and Dante. In fact, forget Valerie all together. I initially loved the idea of a new Spencer but this one is just falling flat. I swear she must be the Woman in White's sister. Total bore. Why not have her live with Carly and have Carly become her puppet master.

Trouble for Dante and Lulu is going to be Dillon Quartermaine. This is one character I am glad to see return. I hope the new actor can actually act, and Cartini didn't just hire him because he looks good with his shirt off. Any bets on how long it will take for Cartini to have him shirtless? I say by his second scene.

Dillon will probably be involved with the ELQ story as well. I am interested in seeing if they set him up as a friend or foe of Michael. I am also glad his return might mean Tracy won't be relegated to the storage closet once Luke returns. I suspect they are planning a Tracy and Scott romance...perhaps bring Serena back as a love interest for Dillon just to complicate things.

I'd like to see Dillon's father Paul Hornsby return as well. They show really needs an old non-mob business type person like Hornsby or Jax. Perhaps Hornsby could be paired with Anna to get Sloane away from her.

What I would really like to see is Dillon return with a baby. Olivia's Baby. Off screen (of course) Ned asked his little brother Dillon to pass the child off as his own. Ned then returns and moves Olivia into the Q mansion with him so she can be close to her child. Sabrina could be nanny to the two Quartermaine babies - Avery and "Dillon's" - neither of whom are in fact Quartermaines but both Jerome cousins. Jerome cousins being raised by the Quartermaines! What would Edward think.

kdmask said...

OH GOOD one with the baby, Frisco!!!

Cosmoetica said...

IRL, a bone marrow transplant slightly alters the DNA of blood, but no more that the diff between ID twins. It wd not affect the DNA a sample from a cheek swab wd give.

Yet again, General Hospital is medically illiterate.

sonya said...

"and now..a crummy wig and a bone marrow transplant"

Actually, I like that wig. :) I think it looks good on her.

"Is it funny she called Morgan dumb? Well...yes :) heh"

Hahahaha. Yeah that was really good. :)I'm glad the writers know that Morgan is dumb! :) And yeah, the Denise Moochie storyine is dumb, among others, but it's fun to make fun! :)

"Flava explains was done to cover up a scar she got after she tried to remove her last boyfriend's name (BOBO) from her body."

It's Bobo the clown!!!! :) I wonder how long they were together.

"Sloane: he's touching my Anna. Stop it."

Yes!!! Stop touching her damn it!!!

"Yah... I got you an Alex and Ani BFF bracelet..'Kay? "


kdmask said...

"Alex and Ani" is a company that makes really popular charm type bracelets.

sonya said...

"kdmask said..."Alex and Ani" is a company that makes really popular charm type bracelets."

Ohhhhh okay! Well of course Carly would know about them! ROFL!

Anon said...

GH is beyond dumb. I'll check here to get commentary but otherwise count me out for the most part. I may watch the Genie Francis scenes on youtube because she is great, but other than that NOPE NOPE NOPE


CapeMcMoose said...

I like the potential of Valerie and the actress that portrays her. But for the love I truly wish Ron would write for her outside of anything Lante. And this actress can *act* . frustrating to see the writing fail her capabilities. I don't think Dante and Lulu were every meant to be the 'happy token couple" -nope. nope. nope. I know a lot of viewers find some comfort and have the cute, happy couple on screen, but this version is just snooze worthy. ER plays a stripped down version of the character - so one note ,no depth. And DZ has to be bored to tears...

But agreed that one can never "blame" the actors for GH's issues.

deckermoss said...

Is Tristan still under contract over at Y&R? He needs to be here. For Anna and for Luke. So many possibilities for him. A reunion with Anna. Hooking up with Alexis and putting him and Julian at odds. Or even Olivia. He could take back his rightful place as Commisioner. Money seems to be loosening up with some of the people that have left. Especially Tony. Is Genie sticking around past Lukes departure? She should. And wouldnt it be great if Tristan was back and she and Robert hooked? She has more family than almost anyone on the show except for the fly by night creation of Julians family. She doesnt need to be on all the time. More than Leslie for sure. But a strong matriarch. I know pipedreams. The Hornsby idea is brilliant. So much is wrong with the show. The shine is off The Guza fixing. Bad actors. Implausible storys. Terrible use of history and continuity. If your gonna keep Valerie. recast. Quickly. A new Spencer is a great idea. Just not her. Pretty girl. Not a bad actress. Just not a Spencer. What will Lucy do with Duke gone? Will Felicia get screen time and the Mayor job? Why not just have some big final story and kill off Mac if your not going to use him. Maybe something that ushers in a Robin recast. She needs to be addressed. Everything jake and Jerome related just falls flat anymore. And Duke. Legacy character. Beloved. Plugged by a flunkie. Never got any payback against Julian. A murderer. But Julian keeps getting played as a romantic hero. So much that could be done with the show. So much. So little vision. Baby drama, Fake identities. Long thought dead. not really dead. rinse. wash. repeat.

RedSoxFaninVA said...

Completely agree on Prop of The Week. LOVED seeing Nina shove Franco's head through The Egg Salad painting Dr. O's gonna be HELLA pissed, though!