Sunday Surgery: Tattoo You

 

Well, it HAPPENED The NUWriters were finally in the credits on Friday. So, going forward, let's hope GH is all rainbows an happiness that everyone expects!! I do have to say that given the Jason return was 'rewritten and reimagined' by them I am not hopeful. What a sloggy week this was. 

Let's give it a go! I'll be listening to Tattoo You by the Stones. A lot of you are probably too young for that reference! 

Monday, Jason jumps off the ST. Jaysus of the Holy Water Crossing Bridge. Jagger thinks he's dead. Anna laughs. Right.. ok, no he's not dead he's just floating up river to the Q boathouse! Everyone scrambles. WHERE IS JASON!! IS HE GUILTY OF SHOOTING DANTE??!! oh the HORROR! 

DANNY FACTOR:  Well, this kid is getting a hella lotta airtime! He's popping up at the hospital, finding his father in the boathouse when he's trying to vape and then going to get help from Michael and Willow! Phew! Their first meeting was so flat, I forgot Jason had been missing all these years. It was kind of like: Hey... wow. You're hurt. Yeah. Get me a First Aid kit. Anyway, Jason did pause to tell Danny how to handle a gun and to keep his mouth shut around his own mother. Stellar work. 

MILLOW FACTOR:  Michael comes in and in true, Michael fashion stares a bit and then gets to work helping the wounded Jason. To give him credit he DOES notice Jason's new giant sleeve tattoo and asks him about it. Cut to commercial. We never see that note again. (I mean, why even put it in there?!!) Willow's all in nurse 101 mode and concerned and so helpful. I think we were all hoping Jason was going to shoot her when she draped that blanket over him! 

JASON'S SAINTED EXPLANATION OF LIFE IN THE ROOM WITH NO WINDOWS: So, we find out that Jason was a Quantico with Jagger at one point and shown something that is bad enough he's hired as a mercenary. I guess we have to wait and wait to find out what that might be but in the meantime, Jason can flashback to life after the rubble in Greece. BTW, For those asking, Jason doesn't remember Jagger because of his head injury. So that's why he introduced himself to him. 

MY BOYFRIEND'S IN A COMA :  People coming in and out. People talking to Sam. Sam getting angry about Jason maybe being the shooter. Carly defending him. Ok, either let him go or wake him up because zzzzz. 

POOR SONNY:  OMG Mopey mopey Sonny. He's even drinking again. Could his beloved Jason betray him!!?? Listening to him talk to Lois, I thought I was on another planet. "He's been gone a long time, he could have forgotten his loyalty to me". WHAT? Did you think maybe he lost his memory like you did in Nixon Falls? Such a weird flex BUT it does set up Carly as the only one that really believes in St. Jaysus. Anna does too I think. I mean? I think? 

FLUB OF THE WEEK: Has to do with the above photo. Lois asks Sonny where Ava is and Sonny says she's dropping Avery off at school. AT NIGHT-- when everyone is talking about it being night and Lois mentioned dinner. Maybe she's studying Russian ? I don't even know. But DO BETTER. 

HEATHER FACTOR:  I can hear it now "I LOVE ALLY MILLS, LET'S KEEP HER AT ALL COSTS" and don't get me wrong... I really really like Heather. BUT I like Heather as Crazy-Heather always on the edge. I'm also going to note THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU WRITE CHARACTERS INTO A CORNER (see Julian Jerome). The redemption is messy. In Heather's case they are going with the "Franco Tumor Defense" --it's a MEDICAL ISSUE! Tossed into this is LAURA who's suddenly become Mother Theresa with the ex-killers in town, consoles and feels bad for Heather.  I'm glad Mills is staying, I'm just laughing at the whole set up. PLUS it took 5 days to actually GET to the story after she collapsed on Friday. 

NASTY NINA: Oh boy oh boy! I guess Nina's just going to be a B*tch all over Port Charles, no? She's yelling at Alexis, tells Greg his stuff is so full of mistakes he's a hack and then marches over to Dex and Joss' to let Joss know Dex tried to kill Cyrus. If she's going to be mean, get Valentin back so they can plot together. 

DUMB DEX: This is the 77th time Dex has threatened to leave PC since coming on board. Seriously, HOW MANY TIMES are we going through this? UGH we GET IT. Joss LOVES him and can't imagine living without him. I'm so tired. SO SO tired. Please just release him into the wild and be done with it.  

DIPPY DREW:  Stomps in and breaks up with Carly because he knows Jason is her "person" and he'll come second and yada yada. He even tells her not to come back to work at Crimson because he doesn't want to see her. Um, Drew..she quit a week ago but who's counting!!? Then he mopes to the gym where he and Jordan talk civics. THEN he decides to get over to Millow's house and cry a bit to Willow about the break up. SO SAD. Drew is always so frantic and over the top with the drama, all I do is laugh at him most of the time anyway. 

FRIDAY'S CLIFFHANGER: Speaking of Friday, the "cliffhanger" was Marshall finding out about his diagnosis from Kevin. Seems Kevin knew his past doctor and the practice he made of singling out angry, poor black men for shoddy medical studies. While I appreciate the closure, should have come way before this.  BTW, I love Stella's character. That is all. 

OTHER STUFF:  Olivia's sad but disappeared most of the week. Liz is no where to be found after the whole "OMG  YOU HAVE A VAPE" conversation. You'd think she'd be all over the Jason news because of JAKE--but, nah. Let's have a scene with Finn typing up Greg's article!! Jason is laying around sweating and blinking. (Sorry you know how I feel) How will they explain no Monica scenes? Hmmmm... Diane is going to fight to get Alexis' law license back but it's unclear why she can do that now and not awhile ago. Sam's anger with Jason is.. interesting. Jordan and Curtis had a chem test in the gym. Blaze had breakfast with her mother and it didn't go well. That lasted a hot minute then nothing. Oh! Finn called his "BRO" in neurology looking for a cure for Gregory. I smell another misdiagnosis coming? Maybe his medication? Hmmm.... One last thing, TJ all of a sudden voiced some unease at Sonny being in his baby's life because he's Kristina's father. He's also Molly's uncle but I guess that doesn't count. Anyway it was a weird scene and another example of filler, imo. 

EDITING: Still needs a kick in the pants. Pair up with the continuity team and get ya biz together. 

WTF IS SPIXIE:  Last we saw them, they were trapped in their car, deep in the woods with no gas. That's it. Nothing more. I guess it's not important. 

MISSING BUMP:  As Danielle pointed out on twitter, Krissy is supposed to be roughly 20 weeks pregnant (given that last ultra sound). Um.. ? She just carries well....or??? I mean, some people don't show a lot but she's like still size 00. 

                             

TRINA FACTOR: She's on next week folks, a full  24+days since Spencer left.  I like this look but we all know the Nina/Ava implosion is coming so...

SAD NEWS:  Robyn Benard who played Terry Brock 1984-1990, passed away this month. Read her heartbreaking story on Michael Fairman TV. 

OTHER NEWS: Robert Gossett, who plays  Marshall on GH was taken off contract and will be a recurring character. 

We shall see how things go moving forward with all of this. I'm still shaking my head over the entire Jason "reveal". ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Could it BE more boring? We didn't even see 80% of the characters reaction. They read it in the paper or it was cut (Sam/Sonny). Lord knows when Elizabeth will find out. Well, she already has I'm sure, but off camera. 

MY WISH: We see flashback Jason in a tattoo chair in Jakarta doing shots of 151 rum while getting inked. 

CHEERS!